ADVICE – Shame, a sense of inappropriate action… The issue of parent’s nudity can arise for generations, when the child exceeds a certain age. Is there a time to cover up? Two specialists answer us.
From the very beginning of life, nudity is shared in the family. Think skin-to-skin between a parent and child, or the baths a father or mother takes with their child. Then the child grows up. At the same time as layers, spontaneity disappears, and what was previously unthought of becomes a theme for some. Embarrassment, sense of impropriety… Until what age can you be naked in front of your generation, exactly? The question divides. Try asking any parents of children over the age of 3 around you and you’ll see two clans forming. The first, which is made up of individuals for whom the question has never really arisen, and the second, which brings together people who are uncomfortable and for whom they expose themselves at a limit: the age of a child.
In theory, there is no age when you should stop showing yourself in your simplest form in front of your child, immediately informs psychiatrist and psychotherapist Christine Barua. “It all depends on one’s own modesty,” he said. The topic of nudity in front of children often refers to nudity in the presence of loved ones. If we don’t show ourselves naked in front of them because it embarrasses us, we often don’t do it in front of our children either. The story also depends on the family’s culture and education. Some were used, for example, to their parents in childhood to leave the bathroom naked. For others, the gesture was never part of the family software, and the parents’ bodies were covered when the children passed a certain age.
According to the psychiatrist, finding an answer to the question of nudity is less intellectual than emotional. If it’s not like that, we do it so that they don’t see us.”
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Respect for modesty
What about the baby? At what age can he be disturbed by the nakedness of his parents? “Modesty, that is, the awareness of the need for privacy and the fact of not showing everything to everyone, is manifested between the ages of 4 and 7,” says Agnes Florin, a developmental psychologist and university professor of educational psychology. Nantes In terms of development, a child up to the age of 2 is only moderately interested in the other person’s body, who is especially interested in his own body and its sensations. We see this from the age of 4 months, when the child observes the movements of his legs and arms. “Then, at the age of 2-3, the child starts to be interested in others, compares his body with others’ bodies, starts asking questions,” continues the psychologist. Modesty towards strangers emerges around 4-5 years of age, and it differs towards the closest caregivers because of the maintained relationship of trust and intimacy.’
We need to tone it down and just ask ourselves. If it’s not, we make sure not to be seen
Dr. Christine Barois, Psychiatrist
According to Agnes Florin, therefore, everything is a matter of attention to others, respect for the point of view of one’s own generations. If we feel any discomfort from them, we cover ourselves and set new rules to suit everyone. Of course, the idea is not to be prudent. “Be careful not to confuse intimacy and taboo,” says the psychologist. If the child enters the bathroom when you don’t want to be seen naked, you don’t scold him. Just tell him it’s not serious, but next time you’ll have to knock before you come in.” Can seeing or seeing the naked body of one of the parents shock the child? “This will not create anything in him,” answers psychiatrist Christine Barois, “in his eyes, these adults are hopeful references that can show their nakedness.” On the other hand, those who were used to occasionally seeing their parents naked or undressed when they were young may plead for distance and discretion during adolescence.
Intimacy and sexuality education
The fact remains that if a parent’s nudity arouses interest in a child, an adult can also use it as a learning springboard, giving simple explanations about each person’s genitals, hair, chest, for example. Learning about intimacy and sexuality and social conditioning is important. At school and at home, children are taught to respect boundaries between themselves and others and to respect their privacy and that of others. Then the child will learn that it is not normal for someone to touch them when they do not want to. He will also understand that we do not walk naked on the street. What you learn in family life allows you to adjust socially. And psychologist Agnes Florin concludes. “The more a child knows his body (for example, he knows how to call his private parts by his real name, not nicknames) and body transformations, the more he knows the boundaries and is able to assert himself.”
Source: Le Figaro
