Panayiotis Pascoe. “Since I was a child, I had the impression that if I don’t make jokes, I will lose people’s interest.”

We thought we knew everything about him, and yet Panayiotis Pascoe still surprises. A former columnist at age 25 Everyday, a comedian and actor, is now a writer. His first book is even one of the literary phenomena of the year, it was published in August. Next time you’ll bite the dust (1) sold over 120,000 copies. In this autofantastic text, he explores the abyss of the young man of his time, the depression that follows him like his shadow, the father he both seeks and rejects, the homosexuality he simultaneously embraces rather than the possibility of love. and allow himself to be loved.

When we meet him, one November morning, Panayiotis Pascoe is not what we imagined him to be, a conqueror of Zebulun or a tortured author. He is composed, thoughtful, hidden in the urban camouflage so familiar to Paris: a gray hoodie, the glasses of a small polite boy. Soon the other sides will be in the ranks, in 2024 he will be in mourning Baccalaureate (Canal+), four acid episodes written and performed between friends. Then the port son entered Please (Arte), his first leading role opposite Olivier Gourmet. Until, perhaps, a new single on stage.

Madame Figaro. – How have you navigated these past few months and the success of your book?
Panayiotis Pascoe. – I don’t think much of it, but I feel lucky. Above all, I have many encounters, many intense moments with people who tell me what resonates with their story. I realized that the success of the book was a bit beyond me when it started to touch different layers; at signings, you can find an 80-year-old woman behind a 22-year-old man in line. Talk to people. who are like me, as well as others from whom I am very far away, it is very strong.

Is your novel autofiction? Are there any authors in the same genre who have inspired you?
Yes, many, including Annie Ernot, Emmanuel Carrère, and Constance Debre, who are the holy trinity of autofication for me. I learned a lot from reading their books, they are like big brothers, big sisters. You know, I’m not the most comfortable guy in life, even if I’m doing a job where I have to be, so when I read, I get the impression that I’m meeting people without actually going and talking to them when they alone, on a cafe bench.

But have you met any of these writers?
I had breakfast with Emmanuel Carr, it was fantastic. She is a ball of kindness. I asked him lots of questions about autofantasy and depression, since we suffer from the same kind (melancholic depression, Editor’s Note). In a strange way, I thought that after reading all his books, I would know him by heart, but no. I myself have often been asked if I am not afraid to open up so much. But I say and hide what I want. Like during my show. if I were to tell the story of my life it would take twenty hours. I chose to highlight three themes in the book, which are depression, self-discovery, and the relationship with the father. Every word is weighted, I pay attention.

Roommate

Has the current discourse aimed at free speech around mental health inspired you?
Not talking about Depression solved the main plot of the book for me. feeling on the edge brought me closer to my father, who had told me he was going to die, and who was close to the edge himself. When I went through my first major depression at age 18, I said to myself, I felt guilty, but when you have a cold, you don’t feel guilty. I understood that depression is a disease, that I have to work on it, and even if it is hereditary for me, I will have to fight it.

And tame it?
I’m not sure about that. I liken it a bit like being roommates with a murderer. you need to find positive points in him, spend evenings with him, otherwise it will be impossible to live together. But we also know that if things go badly, he wants to kill you. That’s what depression is for me. something that drives you to death, but which you must learn to love.

Except the roommate pays half the rent. What does depression do to you?
A lot of harmony. Being depressed means being alone in a room without light, without windows. there is nothing left to do but think and find a way out. This at least prompts me to ask myself often.

Don’t share anymore

The themes of your book cover the themes discussed in your show in a darker way Almost . Do you share the same way in life? Is there a funny Panagiotis? and its more serious side?
I try to divide less and less. There, for example, I’m working on a second show, with more serious themes, because I’m less afraid. The book’s success reassured me in two ways. I want to spend my life telling stories, and people don’t have to laugh to hear me. It was a great relief. I was under the impression that if I didn’t make jokes, I would lose people’s interest. So I’ll be back on stage for a little bit and try to make people laugh about much more serious topics.

How did those close to you react to the book’s success?
We don’t talk about this species much. I know they are happy when they see me in the #1 relay or Fnac. We also have a family WhatsApp group, they draw… My mother saves all the articles that appear, I congratulate when 100,000 copies were sold, and so does my father. But, apart from that, we don’t talk about it much.

Have your reports changed since publication? ?
No, but it opened discussions in the family. Which, I think, deep down was my goal or at least my desire. It raised questions and I find it interesting.

Appeasement ?
I don’t know. We will see.

Christmas is coming, what book do you like to give as a gift?
I suggest it often love me gently By Constance Debre. I think that’s the book that resonated with me the most, even though it’s about a woman who discovers that she loves women, and I’m a man who discovers that she loves men. But that’s the beauty of autofantasy, it transcends everything. It’s a magic trick that impresses me every time.