Seen by a growing number of users as the ultimate mental overload, instant messaging sometimes leads to the limits of burnout… And pushes you away from the pure and simple. Quit WhatsApp The implementation behind this laudable and auspicious gesture is neither simple nor appreciated.
Hell is other people, especially on WhatsApp. 51-year-old Thomas d’Orazio has more or less developed this feeling. Like more than 2 billion users worldwide, this American father is used to talking regularly with his wife and two daughters, ages 23 and 19, in a family group created on the green app. Problem: The epistolary relationship that binds them to this day has changed over time to a real “virtual pollution”. One morning in January 2023, after yet another message alert, Thomas d’Orazio snaps and sends his family a digital resignation letter that will then make the rounds on social media. “I can’t read all of this, I can’t take it anymore to always laugh or like or add little hearts to every thought, photo or joke posted here,” she wrote. Yes, I will love you, I will laugh, I will always sympathize with you. But I can no longer live with this pressure, I am leaving.
Shared by her daughters and viewed over 15 million times Twitter:, this virtual farewell gave netizens a grain of salt. “Network burnout is real, tweeters are concerned. Humans were never designed to have so many interactions, so quickly, with so many people.” “This dad now knows true freedom and I envy him,” quipped another user. The observation is made, WhatsApp requests are taking up a significant amount of time in our lives, stealing our here and now. Leaving the application, would Thomas d’Orazio understand everything? Should we remove “Marie Kondo from digital” and put the digital time thieves in a corner? Can we really live without this bond that also unites us with those we miss or with whom we have made some other connection in writing? The answer is far from obvious.
The short film in the video shows the obsession of young people with social media
From virtual comfort…
The messaging app, created in 2009 by two ex-Yahoo employees and owned by Facebook since 2014, really occupies a prominent place in the daily lives of the French. 72% of people over 18 have already used it, detailed an IFOP early March survey (1). It must be said that registering on WhatsApp is available to everyone, even the most low tech All you need is a phone number and a wifi connection. “Whether you’re a teenager or a grandmother, WhatsApp is an intuitive, transgenerational tool and promotes social connections,” says Marie Despres-Lonet, professor of information and communication sciences at Lumière Lyon University. 2. Sharing of photos, videos and photos especially voice notes are also very appreciated and valued by those with poor writing skills. Add to this the delayed communication where the interlocutors decide when to participate in exchanges and the phone call ends up being lost by a technical knockout.
Originally used to chat with this expat friend abroad at a lower cost, the app has now become essential for dialogue in groups, especially after the health crisis and its subsequent arrest. “The fear of dying has driven us closer to life, and thanks to WhatsApp we have continued to feed our so fundamental human need to socialize and belong to a community,” says Catherine Lejealle, sociologist and researcher at the ISC in Paris. “There is something deeply comforting in knowing that at any moment of the day, someone can read us and respond to us,” adds Marie Despres-Launay.
… to take hostages
They are called “Family”, “Secret Santa”, “Orga Summer Vacation”, “40 years of Laetitia (surprise) … On average, each user belongs to 4.6 groups, IFOP reports. Among parents, “kindergarten”, “school”, “CE2B class” groups have multiplied at breakneck speed, causing evening message jams and a 20 percent dissatisfaction rate among those concerned, the same survey shows. Comedian Gad Elmaleh poked fun at it in his latest show (Besides) “I was quiet at home the other night. 23:40, Mama Bérénice writes… “Poetry alert!”. Hijacking alert yes. Attack alert. Even Baywatch is tolerable. But “Poetry Vigilant”…, teases the actor. Before you continue reading the message. “Bérénice forgot her recitation book. Who would be kind enough to send us a screenshot? I wanted to tell him. But go to sleep, Mama Berenice… They are in CE2.
“With WhatsApp, we are called to immediacy, spied on by the abbreviation “visible”, the time of last connection, connected to the eternity of connection because of indestructible groups. But by creating groups for anything and everything, the quantity ends up killing the quality of the exchange, so people feel suffocated by guilt, even anxiety,” comments philosophy professor and psychoanalyst Camille Tassel, who specializes in virtual psychopathology. And whatever we think of Mama Berenice, on WhatsApp, politeness is always in order. While 58% confirm that they are bothered by this virtual entanglement, according to the FIFG, more than half feel obliged to politely respond to every shared comment or emoji. So with every glance at your phone, you trigger a surge of dopamine, the neurotransmitter at the start of pleasure, followed by a rush of frustration when you realize the content isn’t worth your interest.
With WhatsApp, we are called to immediacy, spied on by the abbreviation “visible”, the time of the last connection related to the eternity of the link because of indestructible groups.
Camille Tassel, professor of philosophy and psychoanalyst
This is what Professor Marie Despres-Launen discovered by studying the WhatsApp groups of neighbors created while incarcerated in France. “What was originally a conversation of mutual aid, in some cases turned into a general freedom against the garbage strike, noise pollution, and sometimes even the theater of racist expressions,” he says. As a result, many people are caught in a conversation that they would like to never read, and that they especially do not want to assimilate.
Departure, to return better
If digital addiction is not as widespread as one might imagine, it affects only 1 to 5% of the population, according to epidemiological studies, then social network fatigue (or information fatigue), which, he says, is very real. confirms Severin. Erhel, teacher-researcher of cognitive psychology at the University of Rennes 2: “Our brain has limited capacity in terms of encoding and storing information. When he’s overwhelmed, it leads to cognitive overload, causing difficulty concentrating and real emotional distress,” he explains.
However, and this is where the paradox lies, leaving WhatsApp demanding your right to disconnect is practically difficult to assume. “We know how to get into a group, but not necessarily how to get out without looking ‘abnormal’.” A lack of interest in the collective without giving back can feel violent, especially in a family environment where the group honors being united at all costs, observes Marie Despres-Launay. We find ourselves compelled to “be a part of it.”
Leaving the group is a threat to real-life relationships
Marie Despres-Lonnet, Professor of Information and Communication Sciences at Lumière Lyon 2 University
Concerned not to harm anyone, American father Thomas D’Orazio finally opted to turn WhatsApp on silent, an option also chosen by two-thirds of users polled in an IFOP survey. The more adventurous can opt into the new network functionality from last October, allowing you to leave the group without notifying other members (except the admin). But then they take another risk, falling right in Fomo (from English Fear of missing out), which refers to the fear of missing an event or message…
Without going to these extremes, there are ways to limit the catch, reassure experts. Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Ian Leroux, author of the blog Psy et Geek, recommends learning to identify conversations that are worth following with our eyes. “If we don’t have anything to say to each other in real life, we’re not interested in continuing the dialogue on WhatsApp,” he says. Even as a family, nothing obligates us to love each other or keep in touch virtually. “Instead of avoiding ourselves, remaining on the application with “voluntary slavery”, it is better to try to understand what alienates us, suggests professor of philosophy and psychoanalyst Camille Tassel. From the right to disconnect to the obligation to contact oneself is only one click away.
(1) This IFOP survey, conducted in partnership with mobile plan comparator Lemon, was conducted with a sample of 1,008 people via a self-administered online questionnaire between February 14 and 15, 2023.
In the video, what are the effects of screens on children’s brains?
Source: Le Figaro
