See the characteristics of asexuality and how to identify it

Asexuality, also known as the asexual spectrum, is a sexual orientation characterized by low or no interest in sex, regardless of gender. That is, the asexual individual does not feel the desire to practice his sexuality with all the impositions that the act requires.

“Asexuals have feelings, but not the full desire to have sex. That is, the feeling of love and sexual attraction are not necessarily associated. Romantic attraction may exist, but not sexual attraction”, clarifies Andrea Ladislau, psychoanalyst and specialist in Psychopedagogy and Digital Inclusion.

Sub-orientations of asexuality

Unlike others sexual orientations, asexuality is considered a term that encompasses several sub-orientations. Below, psychoanalyst Andrea Ladislau cites the characteristics of the six main ones:

• Strict asexual: does not experience sexual attraction under any circumstances and at any time;
• Graysexual: feels reduced sexual attraction, regardless of the affective/emotional bond;
• Demisexual: he feels sexual attraction only when he develops an affective/emotional bond;
• Fraysexual: feels sexual attraction only when there is no bond formed;
• Cupiosexual: does not feel attracted to others, but has sexual desires and a desire to have an active sex life;
• Fluid asexual: fluctuates between demisexual and grayssexual.

Ways to identify asexuality

In order to identify asexuality, whether in any of the sub-guidelines, there needs to be intense investigation. In it, the individual will have to answer some internal questions related to the way of interacting with the other and his own emotional reactions. According to Andrea Ladislau, the main questions to be answered are:

• Does sexual attraction exist?
• Is there an attraction to other people, regardless of gender?
• There is an inner pressure to like sex and having to relate to other people?
• Is there an internal submission to the sexual act for fear of judgments?
• Is the routine lived lightly without the need for sexual practice?

The psychoanalyst explains that the answers to these questions will not necessarily indicate whether the person is asexual or not. However, they can be of great help in the process of discovering sexual orientation.

Importance of psychotherapy

In addition to internal investigation, psychological treatment is also important for the process of discovering and understanding asexuality. Andrea Ladislau comments that the psychotherapy it can help the person to know himself better, to define his priorities, to determine his limits and to recognize his inner desires.

“In this way, the individual will be able to shield himself against the prejudices and frameworks that are imposed by today’s society. That is, through specific tools, therapy helps build the real ‘I’”, explains the psychoanalyst.

Difference between lack of libido and asexuality

Although asexuality has as its main characteristic the total or partial absence of desire for sex, there is a difference between this sexual orientation and the lack of sex. libido (sexual drive). “The absence of libido may be related to behavioral, cultural, or even biological issues; while asexuality is the lack or little sexual desire by choice, without external interference. Asexual people have libido, but this instinct is not necessarily erotic”, evaluates Andrea Ladislau.

Myths about asexuality

As with other sexual orientations, lack of information and prejudice cause many myths to form around asexuality. Below, see some of them:

• Is asexuality a hormonal problem?

According to Andrea Ladislau, asexual people can have hormonal problems, but the total or partial lack of sexual attraction is not related to this.

• Have asexual people suffered childhood trauma?

The psychoanalyst emphasizes that people who have suffered traumas feel sexual desirebut suppressed by
fear. Asexuals, in turn, just do not see sex as essential, not having their orientation linked to negative emotional experiences.

• Is a person only asexual because they’ve never tried having sex?

Andrea Ladislau states that the lack of sexual experience does not interfere with desire: “so much so that some types of asexuals can have sex occasionally, not routinely. Others may try sex and not be attracted to the experience,” she concludes.