“I left because I felt like I was going to die.” Mazarin Pinjo tells about his hidden childhood in “11, quai Branly”.

Many people remember November 10, 1994 Paris game issues its 2372th issue and the historical first page. In the photo, the magazine had just revealed the existence of Mazarin Pinjot, the illegitimate and hidden daughter of the then president of the republic, François Mitterrand. In a photo taken from a distance, he can be seen with one hand on the shoulder of a 20-year-old woman as he leaves a popular restaurant in the 7th arrondissement. These few words in the caption of the picture: “Mitterand and his daughter, a touching story of a double life.” At that time, the head of state was already at the end of his life. she died two years later at the age of 79, no longer wanting to hide her child from her extramarital union with strategies. With Anne Pinjo. “To celebrate his daughter’s success (admitted to the 4th degree of the École Normale Supérieure, editor’s note), François Mitterrand dined with his family at Le Divellec (…),” we read in the media columns that year.

“I felt too much guilt”

In his new job 11, quai BranlyPublished on October 16 by Flammarion, the now 49-year-old writer looks back on his childhood before this cover turned his life upside down. And about his daily life in the official apartment, located in the Palais de l’Alma, where he secretly lived between the ages of 9 and 16. On this occasion Paris game On Monday, October 7, he was presented with a portrait again, in which he tells, in particular, these years, when he says that he was in “depression”. Although the young girl saw her father often and remembers her “loving” parents, she explains that she has very few memories of that period. “I didn’t ‘live’ at Quay Branly and yet I lived there. I erased myself to the point that I became invisible to myself,” he declares.

In an apartment decorated by Mobilier National, Mazarin Pinjot explains that he couldn’t find his place, preferring to leave when he turned 16. “I left because I felt like I was going to die,” she continues. Trapped in Parisian anonymity, confronted by his father’s popularity and his illegitimacy, he eventually lived his greatest moments of joy with his grandparents in Auvergne or Landes. And continue. “I had no desire anymore (…) I was empty. The emotional connection with things was broken. (…) Psychoanalysis brought me a solution. Insight into certain aspects of my life and help me feel less guilty. I felt too much guilt (when he lived in Paris, editor’s note)” Discomfort, which will be more pronounced in a few years with the front page Paris game since 1994. “I had a childhood, but not a youth. It was prevented and delayed. This photo was a shock. I was plastered from one day to the next.Wanted“. I have not changed in relation to others, I have changed within myself. Everything that had created me no longer existed. Secrecy was an ontological status. There were no more secrets, no more silence.”

Mazarin Pingeo was able to recover, albeit painfully, from these years, which were a little too exhausting for him. The mother of three children, born from a union with director Mohamed Ulad-Mohand, from whom she divorced in 2014, she avenged her fate, turning from an anonymous student to a recognized literate woman. After writing more than fifteen works, his latest to date, 11, quai Branlywhich will be released on October 16, remains one of the most anticipated.