A couple. the “captain’s technique”, this method that will save your everyday arguments

Car maintenance, financial management, vacation planning… The organization of everyday life within the couple can lead to arguments. How to avoid them? A TikTok user named Cassidy Skelton claims to have found the solution. In a video posted in February and viewed more than 1.4 million times, she praises the so-called “captain” technique for distributing daily tasks and thus reducing the couple’s mental load.

Decision making and organization

To begin, each member of the couple should identify the areas in which they are most comfortable. Cooking, housework, vacation booking… Then he becomes the “captain”. Specifically, this means that he is responsible for making decisions in this area. “The other just has to watch and listen,” the TikToker explains. As for her, her fiance takes care of, for example, managing their apartment, while she pays the rent. “Just because he’s better at communicating with the owner, it de-stresses me and I’m better at finances,” he explains.

The system aims to balance the weight of the couple’s mental load. “If our child wakes up in the middle of the night and needs both parents, the captain wakes up the other person” and tells them what to do, Cassidy Skelton said. So only one person has to think at a time.

Avoid arguments

The advantage? Whoever follows the captain’s instructions implicitly agrees not to consider them as instructions. When going on vacation, for example, “if I tell my fiance: ‘Take the bags, do this, take that,’ he won’t be disappointed and won’t think I’m giving him an order.” He understands that I’m just trying to get us to the right place as quickly as possible,” assures the young woman. Therefore, this postulate makes it possible to avoid any frustration that may lead to tension, in the event that the two partners have not previously agreed on the mode of operation.