“Everything annoys me, I’m tired of people.” “dry january social” rather than stopping alcohol stop other people

Sixteen. That’s the number of admissions 39-year-old Ludovic, a risk analyst, took part in in December alone. Between his father, mother, then in-laws, small Christmas parties, his department dinner and various end-of-year soirées, Ludovic experienced a social marathon. Result? “I feel socially exhausted. While I’m usually a friendly person, today I grumble with others, the smallest discussion weighs on me, everyone annoys me, I even run away from the coffee machine,” he admits. In order to rediscover the taste of others, Ludovic made a decision that some would consider radical. dry january but social. “I warned everyone that I will not go out in January. You don’t need to offer me raclette, aperitif, restaurant before the 31st.”

He would not be the only one. Although there is no statistical research on this topic, mental health professionals contacted confirmed that they received more and more patients in January who were affected by the flow of interactions. “On Saturday, I was conducting a discussion group again, and one of the participants shared with me his current bad mood. “Everything makes me nervous, everything makes me tired. “I think I’m tired of people,” she tells me, says Laurie Hawkes, a psychotherapist in Paris.

At the end of the year, a cross-country race

And for good reason. More than ever, the end-of-year celebrations are in line with the summation of social life. “December is a real long distance race, we meet more people today because our social spheres have branched out; the other to our mother. Sometimes our spouse’s parents also get divorced… We have to take into account the circles of our friends and colleagues as well,” emphasizes Melissa Manakorda, an entrepreneur and the author of the book. The inner world of introverts and who shares her tips on Instagram.

Social relationships can be perceived as a desire or an obligation. In the first situation they charge our batteries, in the second they wear out

Olivier Bizet, Doctor of Psychotherapy

In addition to the frequency of social interactions, the gap between them can also be a source of discomfort. Aurelia, 39, a northern goods manager, likes simple things, no-frills meals… the opposite of her in-laws. “They have a whole ceremony around the holidays. you have to get ready, take out the silverware, take care of big things… Meanwhile I stare at the fireplace and dream of an evening in cool panties. And since they live on the other side of France, in Nice, we will inevitably spend a week in a row with them,” he says. Aurelia starts the year feeling “flushed, washed out, exhausted,” she says. “Social relations can be perceived as a desire or as an obligation. In the first case, they charge our batteries, in the second, they wear them down socially. When we obey the ‘do’ but also the way of doing things, social interaction becomes work,” explains Olivier Bizet, a psychotherapy practitioner specializing in humanistic psychology.

Tiredness, bad mood, desire to be alone…

A hectic pace, dysfunctional relationships and it’s overload. A state that should not be taken lightly. “Bad mood, physical and emotional fatigue, memory loss, difficulty concentrating, loneliness, blues. The symptoms are many, lists psychotherapist Laurie Hawkes. It can even lead to an episode of depression.” This is what 41-year-old asset manager Luce experienced a few years ago. “We were getting out of detention, I had just lost my mother to a stroke. I was furious. In December 2020, far from health guidelines, I was going out every night. I had breakfasts at some people’s houses, aperitif shots at others,” he recalls. Far from regretting the wild celebrations this month, he admits however that landing in January was painful. “I took the tree down, took out the fairy lights and turned off my phone. I didn’t get out of bed for a week,” he says.

Since then, Luce has adopted his “hermit month”. For the third year in a row, he hardly leaves the house in January. “I’ve increased my telecommuting days, my husband leads ongoing parent-teacher meetings, I’ve replaced my gym classes with pilates in my living room, and my friends know I’ll be fully charged in February,” she explains. Detox fully accepted by those around you. “In fact, many of my loved ones found that they were forcing themselves out in January. The weather also plays its role, it’s cold, the rain is freezing… It’s a bit of a shame to go all the way to Bordeaux for an evening you really don’t want to be a part of,” he says. Luce even converted some of them.

Each time, after two weeks of celebrations, I kept telling myself that hell really is other people

Bixente, 42 years old

Like Bixente, 42, manager of a large sporting goods store in the Bordeaux region. “Each time, after two weeks of celebration, I told myself that hell is really other people,” he assures. Since she implemented this January ritual, Bixente vows to experience the holidays “more calmly and fully. Knowing that I won’t see anyone for a few weeks allows me to appreciate the moment. It is not a surprise for psychiatrist Olivier Bizet. “Fatigue can be resistance fatigue, in other words, because we don’t want to be there, we only think about it. Then it remains for us to inject optimism into the situation. We realize the advantages of the moment, we see our beloved great nephew again, we do our end-of-the-year graduation, and we don’t have to attend such a gathering for several months. We keep what we would rather do. The important thing is to accept what we experience, and because we don’t succumb to it, we don’t feel helpless,” advises the practitioner. A decision that involves knowing how to say no, getting rid of obligations, the silent social dimension.

Protect yourself

Such a choice sometimes causes confusion. “You’re actually anti-social,” Simon, 38, a sound engineer, was told when he decided to take a month of slow life after the New Year. Understand slowing down the pace of your life, getting rid of a few social obligations, enjoying the simple things. If the judgment hurts, it also allows Simon to realize how many times he’s forcing himself to go out. “This introspection made me admit that yes, I was an introvert. I documented myself on the subject, I realized that interactions are experienced differently depending on the profile. Once you accept that, it’s easier to take responsibility for your choices,” he explains. “Everyone can be affected by too much social interaction, even a so-called extrovert, but every profile is different. Hypersensitive people, for example, who feel everything to the extent of 1000, will be more easily shocked by an inappropriate observation. Music, bright lights, cooking smells… all sensory stimulation will also affect them more strongly. As for introverts, Kagan and Juergen’s work has shown that their brains already receive a lot of internal stimulation, so external stimulation can cause the meter to somehow overflow,” explains Melissa Manakorda. It is therefore important that these profiles allow for periods of latencies and breaks.

This introspection forced me to admit that yes, I was an introvert

Simon, 38 years old

Taking care of yourself after the busy end of the year also means adopting certain reflexes. We avoid stores, especially during sales periods, or choose off-peak hours with no music, no voice announcements, low lights, advises Melissa Manakorda. At home, we also customize our interior. Light the candles you got for Christmas instead of the halogen bulb, meditate or not, if meditation is torture. Turn off your phone. Lori Hawkes recommends getting at least 8 hours of sleep a day. Sleep debt has a strong impact on our body and mind. Research conducted by the University of Bern and the University Hospital of Bern has shown that adequate sleep enhances positive emotions and weakens negative emotions. Take a nap, turn off your cell phone, and relax in front of the fireplace—a prescription for charity.