Judith Godresh. “My children already know that I was young emancipated, that I bought an apartment at the age of 15 with the director I lived with”

Nine years ago, she left France with her children to live in Los Angeles, discover her artistic desires and start from scratch. But how to return to the screens after such an absence? How to do it by your own rules? These questions, which are asked to the actress every day, are also at the coreIcon of French cinema, the first series he directed. To the beat of a soundtrack signed by her son Noah, she narrates with great humor the life of a single mother, an actress in doubt, a woman struggling to find her place. Without indictment, Judith Godrech also looks back at her beginnings in the profession, which left an indelible and sometimes painful mark on her.

Madame Figaro. – How was this series born? ?
Judith Godresh. – I have long wanted to tell the story of my youth in film, but it took time for the pieces of the puzzle to form a clear picture. When my daughter became a teenager, that desire became more concrete, obvious, necessary. Seeing him grow up gave me a different perspective on my own youth.

How autobiographical is the series? ?
This actress character is my alter ego, but there is a lot of confidence. Through her, I also try to tell today the story of a woman who raises two children, admits her mistakes, tries to emancipate herself and position herself in a world ruled by men. In this society, it sometimes seems impossible to listen without getting into the habit of nagging, without saying “I’m sorry,” without fear of judgment. In this series, I try to show what mechanisms we have been captured by from a young age, and for the deconstruction of which sometimes life is not enough.

Your daughter is playing her “own role”…
In the US, Tessy was in an art school, dancing four hours a day, writing, theater classes… She also has the advantage of being bilingual, which I needed. But he did some tests to convince himself of his abilities. It’s very important to her and her identity as an actress that she feels legitimate.

What is it like to guide your daughter? ?
Crystal clear. We talk a lot about movies between us, but my children have never seen my movies. They already know that I am emancipated young, I bought an apartment at 15 with the director I used to live with, that’s enough. Moreover, I found it artificial that they began to introduce a sublimated and fantasized image of their mother. Her “ignorance” of my career was an advantage for Tess; without comparison he could play in complete freedom.

Back Icon of French cinema I am trying to show the mechanisms by which we are prisoners from a young age

Judith Godrechet

After your absence, are you afraid that French cinema will forget you? ?
Yes, because the status of the actress hangs in the balance. But I willingly put myself at risk by going to the US, I didn’t really know who I was anymore, I had a complicated relationship with my image. I was recognized very young and immediately defined by my roles or the men I lived with. My place did not suit me so much that my desire for this job was fading. I wanted something different and I was afraid that the institution would ossify me. I left to regain control of my story, face myself, and ask myself about my desires.

Especially your wish for an actress ?
Among others. I censored myself for too long to fit the Godiche role they wanted me to play, even denying the intellectual experience I gained from my readings, my collaborations with great authors. They only saw me as a muse, a woman-child. This is no doubt why, like a teenager in crisis, I turned almost radically to comedy at one point in my career. But wherever I went, I felt like I had to please and stay put to work. Establishing my identity was difficult. Today I want to shoot in France, but not at any cost.

Has the attitude towards young actresses changed? ?
It’s a very misogynistic environment where women are always defined by their gender rather than being considered for their social, artistic, intellectual worth. However, guiding the 14-year-old actress myself, I saw that they are more controlled and protected. In my time, there was no pointless person for small actors. However, it is a necessary guarantee, an opportunity for dialogue, refuge, creation. For the series, I recreated a scene from when I was 15 where the actor kissed me and touched my breast while I was half naked. We did 45 repairs at the time, I hated it but I didn’t rebel. Like an extreme sports enthusiast, I pushed my limits, sometimes without realizing the danger. I would never put an actress through that.

I left to regain control of my story, face myself, and question my desires

Judith Godrechet

It’s about seriality in a series. What place has it played in your career? ?
Late I lived with my father and grew up with the imagination of an only, universal daughter. I had the guilt of taking the place of my mother, then the place of an adult in the life of the senior director with whom I lived. I thought all women hated me.

Have you made peace with your past? ?
I’ve spent a good chunk of my life on the couch, but there’s one place that’s remained almost impenetrable… until this series.

Do you believe in the magical power of writing? ?
Yes, but I feel like I’m committing a betrayal by choosing to tell my past instead of just expressing my gratitude. I have the feeling that I have found my place with directing, but I also have the impression that I am waiting for some kind of permission. I still have a way to go.

Icon of French cinema6 episodes, with and with Judith Godrech, Tess Barthélemy… From December 28th at 20:55 on Arte and from December 21st on arte.tv.