Infidelity. they took the plunge (or thought about it) and told

“Adultery, treason and other betrayals”

“From Polyamory to Adultery in Emma Bovary’s Regime.” A mini-series of the show Feet on the ground, a specialist in testimony without comment, immediately sets the tone of his introduction. Disloyalty is plural, and the answer to the question “why did they go somewhere else?” that’s it. This is reported by journalist Allen Levkovich, who handed his microphone to unfaithful women and men of all walks of life. We hear the emotions of forbidden desire and its trigger; A lively debate, a smile, a card placement, a bare shoulder, a stolen kiss. Olivier, Josephine, and many others say they tried to find sex elsewhere that their partner couldn’t or no longer responded to.

Far from being a cliché, non-believers also testify to relative pleasures. Some tell of guilt, of their tiredness of hiding everything. Infidelity also does not protect us from toxic relationships, and the secret of infidelity can keep us isolated and distressed. What is the possible outcome of this scheme? Whether caught in the act or not, a discussion with their counterpart, the official, is inevitable. Sometimes the idea of ​​a free couple, polyamory is put on the table, sometimes it signals the beginning of a silent separation. From cheated to cheater, depending on one’s point of view, one hears in these extramarital experiences an implied selfishness, but also a rediscovery of one’s self. “I never consider myself a cheating wife,” sums up 50-year-old Karen. To tell the truth, I just consider myself a woman.”

Adultery, Deception and Other Betrayals, a two-part series produced by Alain Levkovic, directed by Anne Laure Chanel and distributed by France Culture for the program Les pieds sur Terre. to find on radiofrance.fr:and other listening platforms.

I love you, am I cheating on you?

It is still difficult for a large number of individuals to see infidelity in any way other than through the prism of infidelity and sex. It is also difficult not to ignore the ideas derived from it. In a podcast episode ViableSexologist Carol Ruvira regrets this cliché, considering that a man cheats with impulse and a woman with love. In practice, we are far from it. “You can cheat sexually and still be committed to the couple,” she says. According to the specialist, extramarital relations are not necessarily synonymous with the loss of love, but the result of individual change, personal striving to develop ourselves towards someone else.

In this sense, infidelity should not systematically lead to the failure of the couple, to their separation, notes Carol Ruvira. And it’s not psychotherapist Esther Perel, the bestselling author I love you, I betray you and labeled a “sex guru” by all of New York, who would say otherwise. In an interview with Anais Rau, director of the WAKE UP school and host of the eponymous podcast, the Belgian-American invites every relationship to dialogue about these issues, even if it means rethinking belonging to the other or even moving toward forgiveness. “Forgiveness is accepting the imperfections of others. This can be done only if the other person recognizes the injury done, expresses his remorse,” he elaborates. A complex but ultimately life-saving task. “Resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die,” he says. To remain in hatred and anger is also to remain attached to the other in a way that imprisons us completely. To think.

Episode 5 Infidelity to Save Love?, hosted by Carol Ruvira and Laura Eisenstein, produced by Ground Control in association with Causette for the Vibrant es program. to find on groundcontrolparis.com: and other listening platforms.

Series 2 “Esther Perel. changing her perspective on infidelity,” hosted by Anais Rau and produced by WAKE UP School of Personal Development for the WAKE UP Conversations program. to find on podcasts.apple.com and other listening platforms.

In the video: love. 10 Secrets of Couples That Last

“Joker’s” right.

Alban was never a traitor, and neither were his colleagues, in principle. However, the thirty-year-old man does not see a problem with a one-night stand. Based on the observation that anyone can submit to it, he authorizes each of his partners to have extramarital affairs. If the young woman has never faced such a situation before, she explains on the set of the podcast Gentlemen why does she offer this “joke” in her relationship, thus absolving her husband of potential guilt? “It is more a way to protect the couple than to expose them to danger. Very few couples stay faithful, so why hide your face? Cheating on someone happens, and it’s forgivable,” he says.

For this moral contract to be successful, Alban insists, however, on two conditions: the infidelity must remain secret and be based only on physical attraction. “Emotional infidelity, there is nothing more serious,” he emphasizes, who wants to remain “number one” above everything else in his union. Proof that when it comes to adultery, the rules of the game are also infinite.

Episode 24 “Albane – Infidelity 2/2”, produced by Les Gentilshommes (Coni, Dahn, Pascal) and distributed by Binge Audio. To listen binge.audio:and other listening platforms.

“Loyalty. it is a man’s thing imposed on women.”

Are people naturally loyal or unfaithful? To answer this huge question, psychiatrist Patrick Lemoine observed the behavior of animals and published his conclusions in the book: And loyalty, damn it. (Éd.Odile Jacob) educate. From mammals to insects, birds and even molluscs, the male forces the female to be faithful to ensure the legitimacy of his offspring, he explains in an audio interview with philosopher Fabrice Midal. In animals and humans, loyalty ensures and contributes to the strength of the pair, but, as the psychiatrist notes, this concept makes little sense from the point of view of evolution. “People are polygamous by nature, but monogamous by culture. As a result, they are able to adopt all animal strategies, the worst as well as the best, to enforce loyalty,” he laments.

However, the oath of loyalty is no less absurd today, the specialist qualifies. To be grounded in the values ​​of equality and free will, Patrick Lemoine recommends drawing up a couple’s contract from the outset, asking each party what commitment is, and then discussing and revising two specific clauses at different stages of their lives. Every three years, every quarter, or every week, we instill this moment of pure sincerity as we please, and that’s fine.

Episode 52 “Loyalty. a guy thing forced on women? – Dr. Patrick Lemoine,” moderated and hosted by Fabrice Midal by Acast for the Dialogues program. to find on show.acast.comand across all listening platforms.