On my 60th birthday I received a prescription for Lipitor and Dildo.
Lipitor is expected. My bad / LDL cholesterol has risen over the years.
dildo, Or vice versa, This is quite unexpected. When those conversations started, not only with my wife but also with my friends.
After finishing the birthday cake with our older children, my husband whispered that he had an extra gift for me. I knew they would be personal; However, when I opened the box and found a full size clear silicone, thick but solid, textured but smooth Yes – Dildo – I was surprised. Not because I was rude, but because my husband grew up Catholic and it was almost impossible to talk about sex.
This is great too.
Huge, I thought How does it fit?
“Hmm,” he muttered. “Didn’t the doctor say you need bigger?”
I smiled. In “Bigger,” my husband prescribed a dilator prescribed for pelvic floor therapy to help strengthen the muscles of the vaginal canal. They recently weakened during menopause which made the sex act feel like someone was throwing hot poker in there. I’ve been using a dilator to strengthen and stretch muscles for over a year, but when I told my doctor it didn’t help me, he explained that I needed to increase my size.
The dildo is really one size fits all. Two, maybe three.
“Is it for me or for us?” .Ask. I’m not sure my husband wants to use me alone or with him.
He gave me a second gift: a cylindrical, thumb-shaped, lead-shaped object that buzzes at different speeds and rhythms. Vibrator.
“It’s up to you how to use them, whatever you want.”
Unlike my husband, talking about sex is not difficult for me. In my progressive family in the 1970s, sex was open and frequent, and my parents often left “our bodies, ourselves” and “the joy of sex” at home.
However, when I called my best friend for advice about a dildo and vibrator, I couldn’t help but laugh. For me as a 10 year old girl, I first heard the words “penis” and “vagina”. The two of us had no problem telling dirty jokes or talking in detail about sexual partners, past and present. But when I asked him about the vibrator, I was excited and turned to some vague terminology typical of those who are afraid to talk about sex.
“How does this work?” .Ask. I tried once but I’m not sure if I got it right. How did his partner use it? Is it sex instead?
“No,” he said. “In time.”
The vibrator is just small, but I can’t imagine. “How is there a place for the two of us?”
I didn’t laugh at his credit. “Not inside – outside,” he told me.
I still can’t do it properly.
“How’s that?” .Ask.
“Instead of fingers.”
Ayan!
I felt great relief after this conversation. Not only because of what I learned, but also because my girlfriend, who casually shares the intimate details of her sex life, has broken an unspoken taboo on what level of sexuality one can comfortably talk about. tao.
The feeling was so free so I called another friend. We didn’t talk in detail about sex, including sex toys, but when I mentioned my dildo, he quickly told me it had a vibrator. Alone, frustrated by the pandemic dating scene and convinced that she would never have sex again, she bought it.
“I have no problem with masturbation and orgasm,” she told me. “I just want something special for me.”
“My friend, by inadvertently sharing intimate details of her sex life, broke an unspoken taboo about how comfortable we are talking about sex.”
My next friend – who I haven’t talked to yet nothing Underwear – laughs when asked about using sex toys.
“Of course we use a vibrator,” he said. “You don’t eat peanut butter and jam every day, do you?”
I haven’t used a dildo or vibrator with my wife at this time, but my relationship with my friends has grown tremendously.
In other words, I shouldn’t be surprised – More than 50% of Americans said they used sex toys in 2019.
If so, why not talk to me and my heterosexual middle-aged friends Boomer and Gen X about it?
I called another friend who doesn’t shy away from difficult topics.
He didn’t mind my question but he was glad he lifted it and I enjoyed it even more when I explained why my wife bought a dildo.
“This is exactly what happened to me. I thought it was a question of lubrication. “
“No,” I said. “It’s the sagging vaginal walls.”
“And it doesn’t make sex fun,” she said. “I was thinking of buying something at a sex toy store, but I had no idea how it would work.”
“Start small and cut,” I replied.
I don’t consider myself an expert at this time, but it’s nice to give advice to someone with the same problem, especially on a topic we wouldn’t have escaped if Dildo hadn’t told me about it.
It was a complete revelation to realize that while my closest friends and I could easily talk about all the other aging body parts – thin hair, tight joints, loose stomachs – our sexuality was positive. that blindness, we have never had some of the most important parts of our bodies discussed in detail.
Talking about sex toys with my friends has become normal for sex. Dildos and vibrators are not only tools for better intercourse or orgasm, they also serve as a way to be vulnerable, to talk about our bodies, to expand our understanding of how other body and how to get sexual pleasure.
And, like many conversations between women, what my friends revealed helped with sharing it with my husband.
On my 60th birthday, Lipitor was an obvious concession to aging, but the dildo and vibrator were proof that me and my friends weren’t ready to stop having fun with our bodies and having sex.
As a friend said: “We may get old, but we don’t have a good night.”
No. But we are still goodnight. And about it out loud.
Diana Friedman lives in the Washington area. Her essays and novels have been featured in numerous magazines, including Newsweek, The Baltimore Sun, Sport Literate, New Letters, and Whole Earth Review. Follow him on Facebook OR visit his website www.dianafriedmanwriter.com.
Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see posted on HuffPost? Find out what we are looking for here and send us the presentation!
Source: Huffpost
