You’re in single file, waiting to go through the control filter at the airport, and a synthetic and nasal voice asks you to respect physical distance. After a few seconds, another no less unpleasant voice reminds us that we should watch our luggage, not smoke, not do this or that at the whim of the local authorities. Not to mention, of course, the announcements about boarding, gate change…
It’s the same at the stations. There are 500 of you rushing to the ticket control gates to get on the TGV, and Simon Hero, the former FIP presenter who has been the voice of the SNCF for forty years, asks you to respect the safety meter between you and your neighbor, not to. leave your luggage unattended, be careful when arriving or departing the train, leave the tracks. In short, it is impossible to be calm in both cases. The announcements relentlessly follow one another and add stress to increasingly difficult travel conditions.
The misfortune of President Paul Deschanel, who fell from a moving train in 1920, seems to have traumatized the SNCF ad vitam aeternam.
It’s worse on a plane. The sweet and familiar Simon Hero is doubled by an amnesiac who, in the voice of a teacher in charge of a group of retards, repeats at every stop… “We are coming, did you remember to take all your things?” Don’t forget anything.” The statement is followed by its translation into English in a more didactic and less childish manner. Finally, there’s the controller that warns you to only get off the train if it’s stationary and on the platform. As if the misfortune of President Paul Deschanel, who fell from a moving train in 1920, traumatized him. ad vitam eternalam: SNCF. Instead of the ridiculous slogan “Window with a view” posted on the windows, why not, if the warning is legally significant, a simple little sign on the doors: “Warning! Get off only if the train is stationary and at a platform.”
At Lyon’s La Part-Dieu station, the SNCF insisted on installing its own control gates despite the cramped space. Guaranteed thrombosis at every sitting. Instead of manual ticket control, which is more efficient and faster, he had to secure the services of a barking agent. Equipped with a powerful megaphone, he shouts like a cowboy in a cattle truck. “. Ah! Travel peace of mind. In Hop!, the same fight… When you sit down, the band asks you to put your suitcase in the trunk dozens of times, and it’s too bad if everyone has made the first call.
When will the announcement beg us not to forget to go to the toilet in case of urgent need?
In short, the abundance of statements, each as useless as the other, turns the traveler, a free and responsible individual, into part of a herd in full migration. And the number of warnings grows exponentially, giving this particular moment—the beginning of the journey—a haunting touch of dystopia. George Orwell and BlackMirror. Why don’t airlines or train companies try to limit announcements?
Between airports, stations, security agencies, but also those wanted at the will of local political leaders, everyone adds to it. Somehow the “slippery floor” sign syndrome. All because of a malicious traveler who allegedly tripped on a freshly cleaned floor and tried to sue American style and with the help of a lawyer and get a substantial refund…
Not forgetting this announcement from the big stations, which warns every 6 minutes that it’s “hot”, if you don’t notice it, then you shouldn’t “forget to drink”. When will the announcement beg us not to forget to go to the toilet in case of urgent need? At least this one would be funny.
Source: Le Figaro
