“I didn’t live up to what was expected of me”

Since 2016, Law No. 13,185 has been in force, which classifies bullying as “systematic intimidation, when there is physical or psychological violence in acts of humiliation or discrimination”, in addition to also including “physical attacks, insults, threats, comments and pejorative nicknames ”. Even so, 52% of the Brazilian population, between 16 and 29 years old, report having experienced some type of bullying, especially in a school environment. In other words: it’s more than half.

Bullying occurs for different reasons and, unfortunately, prejudice is one of them. That’s what happened to the influencer Dante Olivierwho revealed that he had suffered this type of harassment while still at school.

“I was always a child who was considered ‘inadequate’ for what other kids considered cool or cool. Furthermore, I was also always very sensitive, which was bad, since everything affected me. I had many nicknames, many, and the more I became sad and cried, they began to weigh even more. I went through this in several schools… I tried to fit in, but I failed several times in this mission”he recalled.

Today, he analyzed that, at that time, the fact of being transgender already had an influence: “I believe it was related, yes, when I felt different, inadequate… Not belonging to what I was supposed to feel part of. This already came from the fact that I didn’t conform to what was expected of me, as a girl, in that space”.

At 27 years old, Dante said that he has been in therapy for a long time and that, over time, he has resolved more recent issues, but that the emotional and psychological effects of what bullying has caused have been the topic of the meetings.

“Recently, I found myself thinking a lot about what I thought when I was in high school, I was reliving some situations that I remember that made me uncomfortable. It’s something that I’m still trying to understand internally, after all, these things that happen when we are children sometimes disappear over time or due to trauma, but the marks remain. But we only realize this within a therapeutic process, when you stop and reflect… That’s exactly the moment I’m in,” took on.

And if this was already a painful situation in the school environment, in the current scenario, where everything includes the internet and social networks, it is also possible to come across this type of attitude, however, with an aggravating factor: the “certainty” that the aggressor has of impunity.

“Access to social networks has certainly developed another type of bullying, right?! Because the illusion of anonymity came into existence and, as a result, people began to have more courage to speak out and make even heavier offenses. Even though I seek constant self-knowledge, some complaints manage to catch me in a more sensitive place and, then, it is more difficult. What’s sadder is that sometimes it makes me read fewer comments, see fewer DMs… Because you never know what’s going to be there. The way I deal with it will depend a lot on the moment too”, he said.

He concluded:“What we need to understand is that, both those who have already suffered and those who still suffer from bullying, need to report it and find out who did it, because these attackers are not protected behind a false profile. It is very important that we help to curb this type of action.”