The panel who is bad can be balancing. To avoid wirelessness and to deteriorate the situation, there are sentences to avoid. Details:
Find the right words to make a loved one that suffers may be hard. “Everything will be better.” In the magazine column Psychology today, 5 February. Through these sentences, he warns that a person can feel neglected, uncomfortable and his emotions can be invisible. In order not to have unattended, the professor shows 10 sentences to avoid the loved one.
“Be strong”
If you think you encourage a person with difficulty with this sentence, are you wrong? “This statement does not offer practical assistance,” the specialist said. On the contrary, the sentence may be perceived as an “standing” type order, “get up” or “wake up” and implies that the other allows weakness. Instead, you can provide him with concrete support.
“Everything will be fine”
This wording full of good will and optimism aims to reassure and maintain hope for a better future. However, no one can predict the future. To confirm that things will work “false hopes and false assurances” warn the expert. It is good to accept a more realistic attitude and “trust the facts.”
“Everything happens for a reason”
This sentence means that the other “You deserve it” says Bruce Y. Lee: To make a loved one, it is better to advise him to stand back, reminding him that a situation may suffer in the future.
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“Don’t worry, be happy”
By this saying, your sweetheart will disguise his emotions, making sure he is happy. Always seeing the good side of things can “invalidate what the person feels,” said the professor. Instead of saying that he gets better, take action to make him happy, do things that can help him feel better.
“I know what you’re going”
It is impossible to be so positive. “Everyone has his own way in life, so it is even clear that there can be a lot of consequences,” said the specialist. You can actually give your point of view if you have experienced such an event at the same time noting that the impact and feeling can vary.
“So-myt you tried the same”
Once again, according to Bruce Y. Lee, this sentence can invalidate the emotions of a suffering person. “It could turn to you and trivialize the situation,” he said.
“It will end in a few days, for weeks, months”
No one can predict anything. In this sentence, you give false hopes to your loved one and “pressure for him to solve a problem with this date,” explains Bruce Y. Lee: To avoid this, you can emphasize that a situation is never unchanged. On the contrary, it develops over time.
“Others get worse”
We minimize the difficulties of the other, which first wanted comfort. “There is a difference to help someone see positive and hope in the situation and bring those who compare to others,” the professor said.
“You are very sensitive”
This wording is a great example of gas enlightenment or cognitive deviation. “He” guides man to question his reality, “the expert explains. Anything that ends to minimize or keep the feelings and experience of this person can be perceived as a gas light. ” Instead, you can authenticate and try to understand the feelings that pass your loved one. Often, listening is enough to alleviate evil.
“What should you do?”
If you want to give advice to suffering love, view the terms used. “MUST …” is close to the order, not the council. To avoid this, you can formulate your sentences in this way. Continue comforting it, you can show it to your support thanks to your presence and your listening. And just ask him what you can do in a way that he is better.
Source: Le Figaro
