Without seeing it, and despite our best efforts, it can be very easy to self-sabotage. Here are three reflexes to forget to live happier, according to an American psychologist:
“You won’t make it”, “you’re worthless”… This little inner voice is a pretty clear signal of self-sabotage, in other words, when your unconscious has decided to sabotage your projects, in general, due to a lack of self-confidence or fear the example is far from the only one. There are other, more harmful, subversive behaviors that have crept into our daily lives to the point where they derail projects that are close to our hearts. “says American psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein in an article published by him on the website Psychology today On Wednesday, December 11, an expert demystifies these harmful reflexes and explains how to eliminate them.
Comparing yourself to others
Imagine you are on public transport and you want to enter Instagram. You scroll down and come across an influencer whose “wonderful life,” house, job, or labrador seems to envy you. “Why isn’t this life mine?” This way of comparing yourself to others is not healthy, emphasizes Jeffrey Bernstein. “When you focus on what others have and what you don’t have, you strengthen your insecurity, you ignore your strengths and your own successes,” the psychologist notes.
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To avoid this vicious circle, the expert invites people to get away from social networks as much as possible, the ideal place for social comparison. Jeffrey Bernstein even goes so far as to suggest leaving your cell phone in a paper notebook where you write down three things you can be proud of each day, “no matter how small,” to shift from comparison mode to appreciation mode.
Forget gratitude
Metro, work, sleep. When we live at a frenetic pace, without taking time out, it’s easy to let negative emotions overtake us as soon as the car stops. Bernstein: “Research shows that people who actively practice gratitude are happier, less stressed, and healthier.” says the psychologist.
Be careful, being positive does not mean burying your head in the sand about the difficulties that may arise. No, welcome the joy as well as the sorrow, but above all, remember the joy. So Jeffrey Bernstein advocates using a gratitude journal, where we note three things we are grateful for a day: a little sunshine on our face, a compliment, or even a delicious cup of coffee. Over time, this practice reprograms your brain so that it focuses on the positive aspects of life in the future,” concludes the psychologist.
Postponement of important projects
Vacuuming, answering text messages, making Christmas presents… There’s a name for avoiding effort and trouble. This behavior is very common, but it can be harmful depending on the situation dreams, your personal or professional aspirations. “Putting off what’s most important robs you of a reason to be, a need to achieve, and ultimately creates a sense of dissatisfaction that encumbers your happiness,” laments Jeffrey Bernstein.
Obviously, the first thing to combat this form of procrastination is to roll up your sleeves. Except that it’s better not to skip steps and start with less imperatives. For example, identify the main task or goal of your project and allocate it 20 minutes a day, suggests the psychologist. “When you make progress, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and momentum that will boost your morale and allow you to stay focused,” the specialist assures. And conclude. “happiness is not just a passing feeling. it often reflects the habits you develop.”
Source: Le Figaro
