It is important that your children are poorly dressed.

Half past seven in the morning. He has half swallowed his coffee and is about to start a war. The antagonist is none other than the little blonde head, the roommate who doesn’t pay the rent but suddenly has an opinion on what she wants to wear. So far, no objections, taking autonomy, even with clothes, are encouraged. Only the problem comes, and it announces a terrible turn in education. the kid wants to wear an outfit we hate.

Hell, fringed wool cardigans to match the shorts, goodbye tiny dresses and ballet flats, today is a day of celebration, a day where we dress like a retired acrobat. Sighs, negotiations, blackmail and bargaining do not yield results, the villain is stubborn and determined. The hour ticks by, oblivious to the drama in the room. A quick calculation allows us to conclude that we don’t have time, that the energy spent is not worth it. Fatalist, we give up. Just this once.

Arriving at school, the desire to apologize, to justify ourselves, to at least contextualize it burns our lips, but the damage is done: the child is poorly dressed. So, beyond these slightly disdainful adults and these friends who, without noticing, drag our offspring into the confines of the institution, we are tormented by questions: will our children be teased by their friends, abandoned by their teachers? What does this questionable outfit say about our taste or even our education? After all, is it so serious?

The taste of others

Beautiful or ugly, elegant or vulgar, refined or crude, the qualifications given to clothes obviously differ according to each person’s perspective. More precisely, if we refer to Bourdieu, according to our position in society. Our tastes will in fact betray our social class and our economic, cultural and symbolic capital. In The distinctionThe French sociologist thus explained in 1979 that legitimate taste, commonly called “good taste,” was ultimately only the taste of the dominant class.

It is intangible, changeable and at the same time autocratic, imposing its limitations on every social being. Some parents on social networks are the spokesmen of this good taste. They present their children’s views to the camera, sometimes making them their own outfit within a day, garnering millions of views and likes. It’s enough to make us feel guilty when ours doesn’t have a trench or jacket. Which, perhaps, is the goal.

“We have entered the digital age,” explains fashion writer and sociologist Frédéric Moneuron. In the past, for example, on a classmate’s birthday, parents could show their children how to dress. Today, social media opens up a whole new terrain, a space where we no longer need to see or even know each other to compete.”

In addition to being exposed to other families who don’t necessarily have the same means, we first have access to their window, to what they are willing to show. A little stroll through the streets of Paris in a Peter Pan collar and headband, yes. Before going out, we keep our tears, doubts and arguments to ourselves. Because clothes are above all a way to prove, a way to convince.

Child of the window

Fashion is a social practice, an act that allows one to imitate or, on the contrary, distinguish oneself from others. Fashion historian and trend forecaster Alexandra Harwood analyzes: “Imitation enables the lower classes to copy the upper classes with the aim of becoming like them. Differentiation is used at the base of each class to horizontally differentiate such groups. And so, in the end, distinguish the rich from the rich, good taste from good taste. The historian believes that if a child admitted to preschool does not have such considerations when he wakes up in the morning, then it is possible that his parents will also be subject to it.

He explains. “For a long time, women were seen as an extension of men’s social status. Ever since men began to dress sober and standardized, in black and other dark colors, it was they who became the showcases of wealth and taste for their husbands. They spent fortunes to clothe their wives or mistresses and thus display a certain opulence, as if by proxy.

Today, as gender equality progresses, women also dress more simply and independently, and therefore, it is children who somehow become a means of distinguishing parents. They have become receptive to these essentially adult concerns.” And so it will be a circuit for the parents to prove their property.

Buy to show. a phenomenon that was conceptualized by the sociologist Thorstein Veblen at the end of the 19th century in his work; Leisure class theory. He developed the principle of conspicuous consumption, according to which an individual’s social status is demonstrated by the ability to spend extravagantly. The ruling class, sheltered from primary material needs, is spendthrift, idle, wasting both its money and time. As children grow up quickly, investing in expensive and trendy pieces that they will end up wearing for a very short time can seem trivial and therefore reserved for the upper class.

Children, these confirmed consumers

In fact, since the Industrial Revolution, waste is no longer the preserve of a few lucky, prosperous people. With the innovation of the textile industry, producing less cost, buying too, we can therefore have more clothes and so can the children. “The explosion of department stores during the Second Empire gave birth to the idea of ​​age groups in children’s clothing,” says Alexandra Harwood.

Which fundamentally changes the perception of children’s fashion, truly and irreparably involving children in the logic of consumption. Before that, girls and boys wore the same little dresses without distinction until they were five or six years old. Around the age of ten or twelve, they wore variants mini adult outfit.

Sociologist Frédéric Moneuron updates and confirms this statement. “What we call fast fashion and household composition reducing the average number of children, it is increasingly rare to transfer rooms in the same family from one child to another. We just go back and forth.” Therefore, children’s fashion is inextricably linked to consumer society. To the delight of clothing brands.

“As soon as this mass consumption appeared, which at that time was still barely making a name for itself, fashion appeared in children’s clothing. One of the most memorable is a sailor suit after Prince Albert Edward (later Prince Edward VII, Editor’s note) appeared in a sailor’s uniform in 1846 and it was passed on by the media,” explains Alexandra Harwood.

A phenomenon that is only growing, according to Frédéric Moneiro. “In addition to brands dedicated to children, we are now seeing brands originally designed for adults who are involved in children’s fashion. Even luxury brands have realized that there is a market that can be exploited in children’s clothing, even children’s clothing, as we see with the emergence of special brands like Baby Dior.” Still, according to the sociologist, the development of children’s fashion is also a way of compensating for the negligence of parents, who in turn turn less and less to the display of style.

“At a certain age, children will be more willing to dress in what is considered ‘cool.’

Frédéric Moneiro, writer and sociologist of fashion

Beyond adult concerns

Therefore, children will be pawns in a chess game between adults. “Considering the child as a continuation of the self is not a new phenomenon. This brings us back to a philosophical reflection that has been going on since the dawn of time: whether we value the child as a being in his own right who expresses his own opinions and lives his own life. At the moment, they are clearly still perceived as second-class citizens,” Alexandra Harwood suggests. But as they grow up, there inevitably comes a time when these little creatures want to add their two cents in a whimsical wave of existential desire.

In the playground, an impenetrable citadel, a bureaucratic summit, where the future trends of children under the age of eleven are determined, the taste of parents is not always the majority. The outfits they have taken care of for their generation may seem too tacky or, on the contrary, not worked enough. At a certain age, children will be more inclined to dress in what is considered “cool”. is it sneakers or a certain brand of sweater? A choice that affects especially subcultures that are unknown to their parents, such as skateboarding,” explains Frédéric Moneuron.

When these demands are felt, and this often happens with the approach of middle school, Alexandra Harwood believes that we need to support the child, not in terms of style, but in terms of feeling; “As parents, we need to support education about clothing and its power. Yes, it’s true, it’s nice to have the same pair as everyone else, it helps with social integration, but what’s even better is feeling good in your clothes. Body feeling is important, we see it among adults, when we wear clothes that we feel good in, our self-confidence multiplies. Children can feel it too. And that’s more important than looking good. However, in order to be able to give fashion education to children, you must first educate yourself.”

So in the end, the question may not be whether having a poorly dressed child is a big deal, but rather in whose eyes it will be a big deal.