Karla and Marius, 29 years old. “We know few divorced people in Warsaw”

European lifestyles have evolved over the past decades, and the couple has not escaped these transformations. Also, while the debates in this June 9 election mostly revolve around borders, carbon tax, industry or the CAP, we chose to delve into the privacy of four families. Purposeful? Decipher their aspirations, their rhythms, their joys and frustrations. “New family forms have emerged almost everywhere in Europe,” says Brienne Perelli-Harris, professor of demography at the University of Southampton, United Kingdom*. Cohabitation, childbearing, divorce, separation, and remarriage have become more common, even when researchers didn’t think these behaviors would emerge.

Today’s couple no longer have much in common with our grandparents. According to Eurostat, the marriage rate in the European Union has fallen by almost 50% since 1964, while the divorce rate has practically doubled (1.9 million marriages in 2022 compared to 600,000 divorces). “Personal satisfaction weighs more and more heavily in the decision to marry,” the researcher adds. Which may, at least in part, explain the rise in out-of-wedlock births (about 42% of births in Europe in 2022, 65% in France). The form of the couple is changing, and the relationship between man and woman.

According to another British researcher, Nils Blom, there is a reason to be happy. The wage gap between men and women has narrowed.” It remains even higher in, for example, Italy and Greece, and lower in Norway, the Netherlands and France.” According to various studies, countries that offer strong social protection systems, high levels of gender equality and good quality of life, such as the Nordic countries, logically contribute to the happiness of their lovers. From France to Poland, Sweden, Germany and Spain, five European couples open their doors to us and hold up the mirror of their lives.

Polish couple Karla and Mariusz

Staying true to her Central European culture, Carla makes sure her guests feel right at home. Despite her pregnancy, she spares no effort to set the table perfectly and lays a floral tablecloth on it. black man a chocolate cake that reminds him of his childhood. Mariusz draws from his whiskey collection to impress guests. Karla and Mariusz live in the suburbs of Warsaw with their 3- and 5-year-old daughters, Gabriela and Martina. A computer engineer, he worked in the HR department of a German company before devoting himself to children’s education.

Like her former mother, Carla did not want to entrust her children to the local school, which is compulsory only from the age of 6. “This is not common in Poland,” she explains, “women generally return to work after a year of maternity leave.” Thanks to state aid, they receive 80 percent of twelve months’ salary. Will you get this role as a stay-at-home mom? “Sometimes I feel that other parents do not understand me. I am not making money at the moment, but I know that I will be able to find a job if necessary.” Walks, playground, maintenance and cooking… Her days fly by. Without training, Carla teaches the girls to read, write and draw.

Prioritize the needs of the family

“They observe their mother, it’s another way of learning,” Mariusz adds. They started counting from cooking recipes. Carla, who also sews dresses, is passionate about tennis and never misses a match against world number 1 and national pride Iga Svitek. Due to lack of time, he no longer does his favorite sport. “Sure, sometimes I forget to prioritize my family’s needs, but I’m satisfied,” she swears. Mariusz takes care of the children when his wife runs away with her boyfriend. she takes it on when she goes to the pool.

Last December, former European Council President Donald Tusk was elected prime minister, defeating the candidate of Law and Justice (PiS), which had been in power for eight years at the time. Carla says she is not surprised by this political turn, even though she followed her parents in voting for the ultra-conservative party. She describes herself as a pro-life activist, while recognizing that “abortion is a complicated subject.” Karla and Mariusz met at the high school of their native village near the border with Belarus. “Becoming a young mother has always been my dream,” Carla smiles. Mariusz works remotely and joins each meal, which is shared under the portrait of Jesus that hangs above the television.

Very religious, the couple goes to church at least once a week. “We know few divorcees because we come from a Catholic background where family is a priority,” adds the engineer. Their parents travel 320 kilometers every month to cultivate a bond fueled by a Whatsapp group. Eager to expand the tribe, Karla and Mariusz are expecting the birth of little Victoria in September.

*Brienne Perelli-Harris is the author of the study Universal or Unique? Understand the diversity of partnering experiences across Europe.”