Why we tend to self-sabotage, according to a neuropsychologist

Procrastination, arguing… All these small actions can be self-sabotage, that is, “an action that prevents us from achieving our goals or staying in good health.” This is what the American neuropsychologist Nawal Mustafa, better known by his pseudonym, is Thebraincoach S:your Instagram. In a January 31 post posted online, the neuroscientist with 1.4 million subscribers invites us to understand what drives us to self-sabotage… Finally stop wasting our lives.

The illusion of control

Nawal Mustafa uses the following example to illustrate his point. In relationships, and while everything is going well, it happens that we are overcome by fear. What if the other one leaves me? What if the relationship ended causing me to suffer? Then all of a sudden, we start finding a whole bunch of faults with each other and instigating conflicts over trivial topics. Some will even go so far as to break up against their will.

For what ? Because the process is encouraging. “People self-sabotage because it allows them to predict what will happen,” the young woman says in the video. For example, ending a relationship early actually gives you a sense of control over the situation, even if the outcome (breakup) is not what you really want. In the title of the post, he elaborates. “It’s a subconscious mechanism that gives us a false sense of predictability, creating the illusion of control over our lives.” According to him, this behavior most often stems from a “fear of the unknown” or a desire to keep familiar places, even if they harm our general well-being.

Only, in fact, self-sabotage forces us to stagnate in the same patterns and hinders personal development, finally warns the neuropsychologist. Before addressing his subscribers. “I advise you to think about how you put obstacles in your way. What changes can you make to prevent this from happening again?