Burnt toast theory. what if our daily worries were not random?

Not hearing your alarm bell, missing the train, forgetting the doctor’s appointment… What if these everyday worries weren’t accidental? Like this alarm failure that allowed us to leave the apartment later and run into this old friend we haven’t seen in years. This is the whole principle of the “Burnt Toast Theory”. Six months into TikTok, thousands of users have adopted this phrase as a philosophy of life. In the original video, which now has over 1.2 million views, a young woman with the pseudonym @offthe__grid explains the theory: Maybe it saves you from a car accident. […] dating someone you don’t want to be with.” He thus invites his subscribers to change their perspective on life’s little inconveniences. “They either save us from something more harmful or push us in the right direction,” he says.

Take control

“The theory of burnt toast helps me accept what I can’t control, it allows me to have a little more peace in my life,” says the young woman in her video. If we adapt this way of thinking to our love life, then a breakup, for example, will be an opportunity to meet someone who is more suitable for us. According to psychologist Lisette Sanchez, interviewed by the American website HuffPost, in an article published on January 18, thinking this way calms us down and can “help us cope better with emotionally distressing situations.” Then we use the concept of “hindsight bias”, that is, “we convince ourselves that a past event was more predictable than it really was, because it calms us down in the face of the unpredictable.”

Trusting fate actually gives us the impression of regaining control over life’s ups and downs. For Han Ren, another clinical psychologist interviewed by HuffPost, this is how we develop patience, hope, and wonder in the face of potential irritations. For the most anxious among us, “it has significant healing potential,” he believes. And he adds: “If we manage to overcome small annoyances, we save precious energy.”

Toxic positivity

Thinking that “everything always happens for a good reason” can also seem like toxic positivity to some. Therefore, it is not about suppressing all negative emotions, nor about forcing oneself to feel gratitude instead of frustration. Especially “when faced with such events that do not make sense, such as the loss of a loved one; or experiencing emotions such as grief, anger or shame,” we read later in the article. In the end, it’s up to everyone to consider whether the burnt toast theory gives them credibility or not.