Should you let your child wear makeup for the holidays?

A few days ago, Bradley Cooper walked the red carpet for the first time with his 6-year-old daughter, Lea DeSene. The little girl, in a leotard dress, gold ballerinas and a handbag, also showed off a red mouth and nails. A special occasion makeup look that is likely to appear in many homes during the year-end celebrations. “I know my two daughters, ages 8 and 10, are going to ask me if they can wear some lipstick. And I will tell them yes, because it stays in the family circle,” explains Marie, a mother of three children.

Christmas, birthday with friends, Halloween… There are more and more occasions when it seems tempting to wear makeup from a young age. Some parents’ indecisiveness about the right behavior to adopt. “You can absolutely empower your child to do this because it’s a natural process. Little girls most often identify with their mother and want to imitate her by wearing earrings, shoes and, therefore, makeup. The child wants to do as the adults do, and there is nothing serious about it,” reassures behavioral psychologist Estelle Kuil. And insist. “On the contrary, this testifies to its good evolution and development. he doesn’t want to be a child anymore, he wants to grow up. It’s also a form of rite of passage.”

But for the founder of Lille-based firm Psyccap, that doesn’t necessarily mean doing so without setting a frame. “We shouldn’t encourage it by, for example, providing her with an oversized make-up bag. It’s like when a kid plays a superhero. If we encourage him a lot, he will really think that he is. We can go in its direction and promote it, but with limitations, that is, without entering the child’s universe completely. He should remain a child.’

Three options

For Valentine Petrie, journalist and author Makeup, makeup is on In the editions of Les Pérégrines, the size of the work should not be forgotten either. “The founder of the American brand Ever Eden, which has a children’s range, compares make-up to a game, which is very important in children’s creativity. And it puts it on the same level as painting.” Its products also play on children’s codes with pencils, which are close to models for hand activities. Brand Development Manager Mindy Zou explains in the article Cosmetic Design USA that 65% of children use makeup at least once a month. “The first option is to go to the drugstore, the second is to let them use your Dior gloss and the third is to choose products that are designed for them.”

The psychologist also sees no harm in recommending a water-based polish or a suitable gloss. Indeed, some brands in France, such as Nailmatic or Manucurist, have developed a special range. “They even consider it respect to buy products intended for them, and at the same time also say: “you’re still a kid, so I’m buying you some nail polish for kids.” On the other hand, when we start buying as if they were adults, then yes, that poses a problem.” Not forgetting the issue of composition, it is important for the fragile skin of children. “I’m a mother of two girls, ages 4 and 8, and I pay attention to what they put on their skin,” Valentini Petri explains. Because ultimately, there’s also an element of education and awareness of the cosmetics world, and the importance of not putting anything on your face, that comes into play here.

“We feel that makeup is entering little girls’ lives much faster, much earlier and much more regularly than previous generations. Today, you just have to look on Amazon at the number of results that come up when you type in the query “Baby makeup”. There are more than 1000 of them. The offer is extremely extensive, even if it varies relatively little: transparent or light colored glosses, a little fruity, pastel eyeshadows… But not mascara or face products. There is still a kind of framework that reflects our relationship with makeup, the history of which is very sexualized in our societies, where it is part of the seductive relationship between women and men,” the journalist continues.

The risk of hypersexualization

And it is clear that our society is becoming more and more schizophrenic. Thus, it opposes the hypersexualization of children while exposing them to consumption and social media earlier. It’s no wonder, then, that makeup can scare some parents. “We need to make it clear to children and teenagers that make-up will attract the eye and that it can inevitably cause problems. In fact, there is a generational change: the old want to become young, the young want to grow old. Suddenly there are no more borders. And when we erase them, for a child or a teenager, he becomes an adult in his head. I see more and more profiles of this type in my office,” warns the psychologist. “Also, be wary of moms who offer to do makeup sessions together or take tutorials as a duo. We control our child, but we do not enter his world. We are interested in it, but we do not play, even if it can make the mother happy, who will be young again in a moment,” continues the professional.

For Estelle Kuil, it’s also important that makeup remains casual. “It’s like gifts. If we offer them every day, they lose their value. It is very important for a child to have dreams. Does she dream of wearing makeup like an adult? We can enter, but it should remain an exceptional thing,” explains the specialist. Because the issue of borders is also important. Of course, there is a framework that the school can impose, but often parents find themselves helpless when faced with a teenager who feels marginalized by parental inhibition. “It’s like a cell phone. This is part of the new generation of codes. We must not forget that they develop in contact with other young people and therefore they must respect these well-known codes. The process of identification with the group becomes important. But this also requires parental control. So yes, that means you have to listen to your child, support them, and that takes time. But when you decide to be a parent, you also have to accept what comes with it. I mean, we’re there to help them grow so they become respectable adults, smart and comfortable in their own skin.”

Concealing makeup?

Specifically, when should we be concerned? What are the warning signs to recognize that makeup may be hiding discomfort? “When you see that it has become essential, that your daughter can no longer go out without wearing lipstick, that she no longer wants to show up without foundation. Or that we fall into something unnecessary. Here we are talking about pathology. This is the perfect breeding ground for issues with self-esteem, self-confidence, or even dysmorphophobia. It is important to encourage him to look in the mirror, ask him what he sees, so that he sees himself differently. I regularly do the test in my office with my young patients. Am I beautiful just because I wear makeup? Because I’m wearing a trendy or designer sweater. The goal is to make him understand that even without all that there is something interesting in the reflection. »

Therefore, discussion is important, surprisingly, as an essential key. “When my daughters first expressed the desire to wear makeup, I was completely against it. Then I tried to find out why they want it,” emphasizes the beautiful Valentin Petri. “And I really try not to make a hierarchy. they are beautiful with or without makeup. It’s very important to me not to emphasize that a little girl is beautiful when she’s wearing lipstick, because that’s what’s going to become kind of addictive later on. Who would put the idea that the face should be corrected absolutely?’ A constant dialogue that a psychologist evaluates without hesitation. “The exchange is essential. If the child does not know why he wants to wear makeup (which is entirely possible), we can make suggestions a little like a multiple choice question, but without directing him: Enter womanhood? Does he want to grow up? Does he want to seduce? Does he want to feel better? Does he want to belong to a group because his friend group does? Is it to rebel?” suggests Estelle Quill. Before adding: “The goal is not only to be interested in him, but also to ensure that he is interested in himself, his personality, his interests, the world around him.” In turn, the journalist emphasizes the importance of making makeup a space of freedom. “For me, that involves a lot of things, from sparking their curiosity, showing them what’s very different, from Kim Kardashian to very creative makeup artists.” A way to escape society’s dictates and avoid putting extra pressure on makeup to become a full and simple expression.