What if you stuff your feelings? Five signs that prove yes

Emotions occupy a special place in the field of communication. In the 1970s, the American psychologist Paul Ekman, who was a pioneer of non-verbal language and a world-renowned expert, identified six basic facial expressions that can be easily recognized in all cultures: joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise and disgust. . Every day some are mastering the art of hiding them, often unknowingly. “This arises from an intrapsychic conflict when the mind is confronted with a reality that does not correspond to our deepest values,” explains psychiatrist Marin Colombel. Fear then drives us to suppress our emotions. “We fear that it will overcome us, we fear that we will no longer know how to control it and live with it forever,” continues psychologist Delphine Pea. But beware of the pressure cooker effect. Due to containing too many buried feelings, they explode in our face in one day, experts warn. To protect yourself from it and protect your mental health, here’s a look at the warning signs of emotions being swept under the rug.

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Look for distractions at all costs

This reflex is quite common. Touching, even momentarily, an unpleasant emotion, the human being automatically tries to protect himself and engages in avoidance strategies to distract the brain. “People in an emotionally avoidant situation have difficulty adjusting. They prefer to be in action rather than focusing on the present moment,” says Dr. Marine Colombel, who is also the author of: Get out of your mental thoughts (1). “Thus, some people invest more in their work or sports than their intelligence, psychologist Delphina P shows. Others will give in to compulsions, whether shopping, multi-viewing TV or even while eating. All possibilities are not good. When this is no longer manageable, some people may go so far as to choose a chemical anesthetic such as drugs or alcohol.

Smooth the night

When, for example, you put anger in an emotional state after an argument with your partner or college, the risk is that the emotion will resurface at some point. This moment generally occurs in the evening, a period conducive to parasitic ruminations and negative thoughts related to the previous day. Psychologist Delphine Pye describes this phenomenon as the “rebound effect,” where the emotion reappears in us as a “flame” with a higher-than-average intensity. “These reflections lead to anxiety and increase the risk of sleep disorders,” he notes.

The more intense and contained the emotion, the more the body will produce stress hormones

Dr. Marine Colombel, Psychiatrist

Sometimes some people can have nightmares, especially people who suffer from post-traumatic stress, says psychiatrist Marine Colombel. “Their brain blocks emotions during trauma to protect itself,” comments the doctor. If that information is not properly processed later, it resurfaces as soon as possible, throwing us back a moment that can be extremely painful.”

Chronic pain

If the state of our nights says a lot about our well-being, the body can also leave us some clues. As Dr. Marine Colombel affirms, the mind has a strong influence on the body, and this can lead to physical manifestations of stress, such as sweating, an accelerated heart rate, or even convulsions to the point of somatization. More specifically, the mind will turn affective difficulties into physical pains: migraine, dysphagia (difficulty swallowing food and drink), rheumatism, eczema… The psyche can also exacerbate affective difficulties.

Somatization and its extent are based on a “stress circuit,” the psychiatrist tells us. “The more intense and restrained the emotion, the more the body will produce stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline,” notes Marine Colombel. This increase will lead to general inflammation in the body. This will weaken the immune system and lead to various chronic symptoms depending on the individual.

To be on the edge

Dealing with anger or sadness takes a lot of energy. Except that by allowing this resentment to stretch too far, the ball of yarn grows, grows, and grows until we exceed our tolerance threshold. “Suppressed emotions always give rise to new ones, echoes psychologist Delphina P, who is also the author of the book: Your guide to mental health (2). Anger often leads to frustration, for example. And when we reach the point of no return, the last emotion throws us off the hinges, sometimes over something as trivial as a spilled coffee cup or an awkward comment.

Difficulty showing empathy

How we treat others says a lot about our influence. The style of humor sometimes speaks of discomfort. “It’s a case of a cynical person who can’t stand being around certain emotions, often because they don’t understand or recognize them. In fact, a lover of black humor can hide a real feeling of sadness or sadness in himself,” says psychiatrist Marine Colombel.

In rarer cases, emotional intolerance can lead to alexithymia, either the inability to feel certain emotions or great difficulty putting words to feelings. “It can be ingrained in childhood if the expression of feelings is not valued in the family and education,” says Delphine P.

Acceptance reflexes

Regular avoidance of one’s emotions, whether intentional or not, is not a pathology, but this personality trait turns out to be crippling. Going through psychotherapy to restore balance can help express your feelings and those of others. Also, many activities invite you to let go and reconnect with the body-mind connection. Among the most popular, experts mention mindfulness meditation, coloring or sports such as swimming or walking.

(1) Get out of your mental thoughtsby Marine Colombel, published by Marabout, 192 p., €19.90.
(2) Your guide to mental healthby Delphine P, published by Marabout, 208 p., €16.90.

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