DESCRIPTION – In relationships, many criticisms and scoldings are addressed in the name of demand. There is no question of letting go, denying yourself, or even giving up on an ideal. How to distinguish legitimate demand from excessive demand?
Eva has been living with her partner for 8 years. At 39, he looks tired and discouraged. Under the question mark? Everything about the couple’s social life, including vacations, falls on her, she says. “I’ve had enough of being a tour operator on duty, and I’m seriously considering leaving without planning anything else,” sighs Eva. Those around him tell him that he is exaggerating, that his partner, after all, is always in favor of it, always agrees to his proposals. So, sometimes Eva thinks: “Maybe deep down I’m too demanding, I don’t know…”
Within a couple, it is not always easy to distinguish between a legitimate claim and an exaggerated claim. For the integrative psychotherapist and existential analyst Violen Gelli (1), “it is from the ‘diffusion’ of love that characterizes the first stages of a relationship that one must clearly express one’s needs to the other, welcome one’s own in return, and then find a modus vivendi…
Source: Le Figaro
