Alexander Bez on How Singles Should Be on ‘Valentine’s Day’
Valentine’s Day is characterized by romantic dinners and declarations of love. However, this date can awaken complex emotions for some people, especially when unresolved past relationships, called “ghost relationships” surface unconsciously, bringing unpleasant memories. Feelings like sadness, anguish and heartache can resurface in this period.
the psychologist Alexander Bez explained how these sensitive issues can arise and how it is possible to shield this situation.
“Situations where there is the presence of an ex-partner and children from that previous relationship can be even more complicated. There is the temptation to relive the past in a false ‘revival’, known as a flashback. However, this can lead to complications and it is not advisable, especially in relation to the routine of both parties.”, he said.
The expert continued:“It’s important to remember that fear of loneliness, especially on June 12th, can lead separated couples to try to rekindle a relationship that no longer exists, instead of opening themselves up to new possibilities. It’s crucial to keep in mind that ‘ex is ex’ and deserves cordial respect, instead of trying to revive something that has passed. As Freud said: ‘The past is made to be overcome'”.
For those who will spend ‘Valentine’s Day’ alone, the psychologist listed some tips to avoid phantom relationships:
Enjoy the date normally, without being influenced by the emotions of the past.
Go out with friends to places that don’t bring back memories of past relationships.
- Remember past relationship moments in a healthy and positive way.
- Practice physical activities in the day, which can help improve negative habits and leave moments of the past relationship behind.
- Avoid transferring traits and fantasies from the previous relationship to the current one, if there is a current relationship.
- Cherish your current relationship, enjoying the moment and avoiding idealizing the past relationship.
- Avoid falling into depression. Staying at home during a date like this can lead to negative thoughts.
- If the date coincides with your ex-partner’s visit to the children, do your best to avoid unwanted encounters.
- Remember to take care of yourself and seek a healthy emotional balance, even on festive dates that may bring emotional challenges.
Source: Maxima
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