Where does domestic violence start?

“Violence is always on the rise. There is no such thing: a slap, then nothing. For nearly twenty years, Marie Servetti has worked alongside victims of domestic violence, the vast majority of whom are women(1). Since 2003, she is the director of the accommodation and social reintegration center of the association FIT une femme un toi. There she meets women of all ages, from all walks of life, victims of both physical and psychological abuse. And the expert emphasizes. “It’s not just blows and shouts, sometimes violence takes other forms. This can, for example, be accompanied by absolute silence on the part of the spouse, who will decide to communicate only by paper.

So when can we start talking about domestic violence? What does the law say? Questions that arise and arise again in the light of the Quatenen case. Elements of the answer with Marie Servetti, Françoise Briet, Director General of the National Solidarity Women’s Federation (FNSF) and Jeanine Bonagiunta, a Paris lawyer and specialist in domestic violence.

Several forms of violence

First, contrary to some perceptions, domestic violence is not limited to repeated beatings. According to consulted experts, they can also be:

• Psychological. insults, verbal threats, humiliation, moral harassment, humiliation, SMS control…
• Sexual. sexual assault, rape, rape…
• Economical. confiscation of resources, continued dependency…
• Administrative: theft of papers, passport…

In many cases, it is observed that psychological and verbal abuse leads the victim to accept physical violence later. “It creates a kind of ground that then prevents women from reacting,” notes Françoise Briet. What I confirm Jeanne Bonagiunta. “Like physical violence, psychological violence destroys. It is very difficult to understand the humiliation of people and how destructive it is. The phenomenon is very well revealed in the film. My king Maïwenn.”

“Arbitrary”

Experts agree that there is no small violence. “A woman can be compromised at any time and in any scheme,” says Françoise Briet. Same story by Marie Servetti. “Slap is already violence. It is generally preceded by other things: blackmail, harassment, humiliation, threats… It is very rarely an isolated gesture.

But because it is sometimes difficult to recognize that a person is a victim of domestic violence, the Saint-Saint-Denis and Paris Observatory on Violence Against Women, the Association En avant tout(s) and the City of Paris have created a “violence meter”. Following a certain progression of the seriousness of the acts, it shows that psychological violence is indeed violence. And this despite the lack of physical injury.

In the video, Camille Lelouch talks about domestic violence, of which she was a victim

What does the law say?

From the point of view of the Criminal Code, there is violence when one or more actions are performed that can cause an attack on the victim’s physical integrity (mutilation, weakness, even death) or psychological (emotional shock, psychological disorder).

“Harassing the husband, his partner or his civil partnership partner with repeated remarks or behavior, the purpose or consequence of which is the deterioration of his living conditions, which led to his physical or mental health, is punished; three years’ imprisonment and a fine of €45,000 if the acts caused total incapacity for work less than or equal to eight days or no incapacity and five years’ imprisonment and a fine of €75,000 if they caused total incapacity. for more than eight days of work or were carried out during the presence and attendance of a minor,” Article 222-33-2-1 of the Criminal Code states. This applies to both physical and psychological violence.

Moreover, several aggravating circumstances can increase the punishment. state of pregnancy, disability… “And the more serious the facts, the higher the penalties,” claims Mae Bonagiunta, defending Jacqueline Sauvage.

How is the law applied?

Although the law exists, in practice punishments remain rare or minimal given the crimes and offenses committed. “If the texts punish the perpetrators of domestic violence, the fact is that the punishment is often not applied,” laments Jeanine Bonagiunta, who will publish in November. And that’s it, a guide to help victims and their loved ones break the silence. The lawyer continues. “Compared to what is in the Criminal Code and what is applied, there is a bridge. Many violent men get off with just a fine.”

And good reason. to protect themselves, perpetrators of domestic violence minimize their actions. Or, worse, blame their (former) partner. “They claim that their companion had fragile psychological ground. They always find extenuating circumstances. “I’m going through a bad period”, “if the slap went away, it’s because I was tired”, “he pushed me to the end”…” describes May Bonagiunta. Basically, everything is done to eliminate sin. “And unfortunately, magistrates are not always empowered to deal with domestic violence cases. Some find it difficult to understand that, for example, insults cause real suffering.

In the video, what are the real numbers of violence against women?

Control, a symptom of violence in a couple

After all, when we talk about domestic violence, it is not always easy for an uninformed person to understand why women endure such violent situations for so long or, when they file a complaint, withdraw it after a few days. When confronted with horror stories, the first instinct is to think: “Why doesn’t he run away? This is to ignore the trap that surrounds victims of domestic violence: influence.

Domestic violence almost always begins in a romantic relationship

Marie Serveti, director of the Center for Housing and Social Reintegration of the FIT Association

“Influence is a system of psychological dominance created by one person over another,” describes psychologist Maria Barbier in her book. You scare me when you scream.. The goal is to condition the other person to meet their expectations without regard to their free will or well-being.

This phenomenon is all the more complicated because “domestic violence almost always starts with a love story,” warns Marie Servetti. “And where the perpetrator of domestic violence is very strong, he manages to make everything work and the love story will return despite the blows and insults inflicted. One day the plates are broken. the next day, as an apology, a bouquet of flowers.’ To sow doubt.

But above all, violence in a couple sometimes appears suddenly or is the result of a long process. This is particularly noted by Francoise Brien. “They can start a relationship very quickly or settle down after a few years together.” Violence never warns.

(1) Agree INSEE studyDomestic violence in mainland France accounts for an average of 295,000 victims per year, including 213,000 women (72%).