No matter how much we love our partner, once the night comes, they sometimes make life difficult for us… in bed. Fighting with the blanket, untimely movements… What if you tried the separate blanket?
Tonight, before bed, Sabine will slide under a warm floral duvet, while on the other side of the bed, her husband will curl up on his more refined model with Scottish motifs. “I have to feel like I’m in a cocoon to sleep, which can’t be said for my husband, who is literally dying from a certain thickness of heat,” she tells us. For two years now, the two lovers have belonged to a very private circle of lovers of individual quilts.
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If this choice remains anecdotal in France, it turns out that it is very popular in the Scandinavian countries, ethnographer Pascal Diby teaches us. “While in France the sheet placed in the onion has been known for a long time along with other blankets, the Scandinavian countries domesticated the animals and took their feathers to turn them into blankets,” says the specialist, the author. Ethnology of the bedroom (1). In these regions, as in Germany, people often sleep, even in hotels, on separate beds, each with its own blanket.’ Originally, this practice stems from Protestant religious influence, but also from a rather pragmatic reflection;
The other, this sleep disruptor
Within the human species, co-sleeping remains a relatively recent act. It was from the 15th century that the French bedroom took on the appearance of a conjugal and private place where one retired. “It’s very different from the Middle Ages, where we used to sleep in very large beds, with several people, completely naked and with our hands behind our backs,” notes Pascal Diby. Then it will be necessary to wait for the modern and contemporary era to express the right to have a “clean space” and to express physical separation, reports historian Michel Perrault in his book. History of rooms (2). The main reason given. We are less able to tolerate other people’s bodies, their smells, their noises and gestures.
An untimely blanket pull or moving feet further unsettles our guard system
Patrick Lemoine, Psychiatrist
And this is confirmed even today among the users of unique covers. The deleterious effects of Duo Nights are quite evident. 68% of couples have already argued with their spouse about a topic related to bed, according to an Ifop survey for Tousaulit.com, published on May 5, 2021. For example, snoring, teeth grinding or sleepiness, parasitic movements of the spouse are included. undesirable for the person sharing the cover. “An untimely pull of the blanket or shuffling feet further disturbs our guard system, this ancestral alarm designed to respond to the approach of an enemy during certain stages of sleep,” explains sleep psychiatrist Patrick Lemoine. After all, for the most sensitive people, it can have consequences for the quality of the night.
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A significant change in sleep patterns can also be a significant concern. “If you are clearly evening and your partner is determined in the morning, these hectic hours significantly increase the risk of micro-arousals, which are associated with fatigue and conflicts within the couple. It is also for this reason that I have already designated a separate bed or even a separate bedroom in case of failure,” notes Patrick Lemoine, who is also the author of; Doctor, I’m having trouble sleeping (3).
Temperature fluctuations
Another common complaint among couples is temperature fluctuations under the duvet, as described by Sabin above. “To promote sleep, it should be around 18°C. However, the most careful people, often women, appreciate several high degrees, and their partner, on the contrary, wants a very low level,” says the psychiatrist.
A problem that bedding brand Wopilo has been trying to solve for a year now with the ‘ocho tandem’ concept of customizable individual covers. “When they’re struggling with sleep, couples are looking for better comfort and exploring the limitations of the bedroom environment, says founder and CEO Thomas Hervet. If exposure to screens, work-related stress, or an epidemic is one of them, sleeping two under the same blanket can be, too.
From sacredness to personalized intimacy
To love each other without sleeping against each other, the situation seems difficult for many. As proof, the “ocho tandem” concept represents only 10% of the orders on the Wopilo website. The aesthetics of two separate blankets on a bed are generally hard to convince, says CEO Thomas Hervet. “From 581 to the 17th century, the Catholic Church made the bed sacred as the space of conjugal marriage,” adds ethnographer Pascal Diby. In Europe, it was considered a place of reception and representation. And this vision is still held today in some traditional families. “When you visit an Italian bourgeois house, it is customary to start from the couple’s bedroom. The single quilt represents the stability of the family. Without it, we suspect disunity,” the author sums up Ethnology of the room sleep.
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The single quilt represents the stability of the family. Without it we suspect disunity
Pascal Diby, ethnographer
But in reality, then. Does the individual covering slow down the intimacy of the couple, the carnal meeting of two bodies and the complicity of two lovers? Specialists leave aside this received idea. If sleeping separately can sometimes contribute to the lack of spontaneity in intercourse, then the separate blanket maintains many advantages, confirms psychiatrist Patrick Lemoine. “Skin-to-skin promotes the release of the bonding hormone, but the presence of another, even if he’s out of the comforter, relaxes us significantly. And then nothing prevents us from meeting before, after the night, to huddle under the gathered blankets,” he notes.
Especially since our current society is increasingly inclined to imagine and change the spatial configuration of the bedroom. “It is gradually losing its conjugal and sacred symbolism, to be considered a ‘living room’ like the rest of the house,” notes ethnographer Pascal Diby. Separate covers or not, in the bed, we love it and always sleep there, eat there and even work there. “The unchanging rule is to always respect the culture, the desire and the rest of the partner,” concludes Patrick Lemoine.
(1) Ethnology of the bedroomBy Pascal Diby, Éditions Métailié, 304 pages, €12.
(2) History of roomsMichelle Perrot, Editions Seuil, 464 pages, €24.
(3) Doctor, I’m having trouble sleepingBy Patrick Lemoine, Éditions Odile Jacob, 256 pages, €21.90.
Source: Le Figaro
