‘I felt like no one was looking at me’

Choi Seung-hyunthe former BIGBANG member known as TOPbroke his 11-year silence in a revealing interview with The Korea Times, published last Tuesday, the 14th. During the conversation, he openly discussed personal and professional issues, including the impact of his participation in the 2nd season of “Round 6 ” and the controversies that marked his career.

The hit Netflix series, which gained a global audience upon its release, brought the artist into the spotlight again when he was cast as Thanos, a rapper who enters the game after a series of financial misfortunes and drug use. For the singer and actor, the role was challenging, as it reflected dark aspects of his own life.

“The offer to play Thanos was a scary proposition. The character mirrored my past, reflecting aspects I’d prefer to keep hidden,” he explained.

The former BIGBANG member, who has a history marked by controversy, including his conviction for using marijuana during his military service, revealed that he was initially hesitant to accept the role due to fear of being typecast. “The fear of being labeled made me hesitate. But destiny seemed to be pulling me in that direction,” he said. TOPwho decided to move forward after the series director, Hwang Dong-hyukdemonstrate confidence in your work.

This is the singer and actor’s first official interview in more than a decade, since his participation in the promotions of the film “Tazza: The Hidden Card” in 2014. In his statement, he reported that, for almost 10 years, he felt invisible , but the director’s trust was a crucial factor in him accepting the proposal.

“For almost 10 years, I felt like no one looked at me, but director Hwang Dong-hyuk reached out to me first. The trust (and) belief he had in me gave me the courage to come out. As an actor, it’s my duty to give back confidence. Standing out in my performance is another task in my life”, he added.

Preparation for Round 6

In preparation for his role in “Round 6”, TOP delved deeply into the psychology of the character, who deals with drug addiction and the devastating effects of that choice. “I researched the effects of such substances while developing the character,” he revealed, detailing how addiction affected Thanos’ body and mind.

“I tried to act differently in scenes where Thanos hadn’t yet used the drug versus those where he had,” he explained. The artist also incorporated physical elements into the performance, such as the use of “damaged teeth” and the adaptation of a rap style characteristic of southern US hip-hop, associated with substance use.

Retirement

TOPwho retired from music in 2020, also reflected on his decision to step away from the industry and the surprise his appearance on “Round 6” caused. “For the last seven years, I have lived almost isolated from society, spending most of my time at home and in my music studio,” he confessed. He described this period as a “lost time”, marked by shame and deep introspection. Music was his way of dealing with inner turmoil, where he said that “The reason I did it was not for any other reason, but because music was the only place I could breathe”.

As the years passed and the controversies surrounded him, the rapper has sought a calmer and more stable life. “My main objective is to establish a stable and less dramatic life,” he said, emphasizing that he wants to achieve a moment of peace, far from the negative news that has marked his career. “I want to get to a point where I can wake up without being bombarded by negative news and feel more at peace,” he added.

With a career marked by ups and downs, TOPnow 37, is reinventing himself not only as an artist, but also as an individual in search of balance and a new beginning. His participation in Round 6, although controversial, is a reflection of his attempt to rebuild himself and face the demons of the past, while at the same time seeking a more serene future.

Also read: What happens to TOP’s character, ex-BIGBANG, in ‘Round 6’?