Is dressing up for a date out of date?

November 11 reader New York Times Fashion critic Vanessa Friedman asks if the ideal first date outfit translates to “jeans, a white T-shirt, and a black bra.” The reporter says no, but white should be avoided, or the key is to “feel comfortable in every sense of the word.” In short, getting the perfect outfit for a romantic date still doesn’t seem obvious in 2020, where Covid has completely redefined the fashion landscape.

From now on, comfort takes more and more place in trends and desires, to the detriment of more “dressy” and less comfortable pieces, this is what Valentin, a creator of fashion content on social networks, who has several dating experiences, points out. “In my opinion, the idea of ​​standing out on a date is over. Getting ready is part of the game, but no more frumpy dresses and open shirts for him. A romantic first date is already stressful enough. And above all, the perfect outfit it’s the outfit you feel confident and comfortable in. Not the one we’re playing a part in.”

Back to natural

This remark joins another phenomenon that explains this return to naturalness in the first “date”, the boom of TikTok. Thanks to Covid, the social network did not take long to overshadow the “flat” side that its rival Instagram has long championed. : In Generation Z’s favorite app, we enjoy fast videos without filters and (finally) feel free from judgment. A platform where more and more influencers are talking about self-acceptance and shaking up the codes. Even if it means dressing to the nines for a date, it’s best to stay natural as we are in life,” explains Laurena, 29, a former Parisian, now living in Canada and author of the book. Once there was love (2024). “Before, I completely emptied my closet in a panic, I called my roommates for help. Today, my new theory is very simple: I only wear clothes that I feel good in.”

For him, the subject is very feminine. I honestly think that this anxiety is felt almost exclusively by women. I have never heard a man tell me that he cleaned out his closet before a date. while the man in front of him will be wearing a Carhartt jacket as soon as he gets there.” What’s the point of doing “too much” for Valentine? “What’s out of date is too sexy. When a man shows up with a shirt, I’ll notice if he’s only wearing it on the first date. And that’s going to destabilize me.” If the fashion expert admits that “dressing well” on a first date is part of the seduction game, she prefers naturalness.

Stay yourself

The examples given to us by cinema, however, pressure us. Ryan Gosling’s perfect camel suit. La La LandOlivia Newton-Johnny Claudine’s necklace Oilwhere is julia roberts hollywood red dress Beautiful woman…In terms of style, big screen “date” scenes set the bar very high. It’s only normal that the collective imagination perceives this outfit as something to think about in advance… When in reality there’s no point in putting so much pressure on yourself. to implement

From childhood we are taught to please, to seduce before being seduced.

Laurena, author of Once There Was Love (2024)

“I don’t remember seeing anyone dressed casually in the movie theater, except maybe Kristen Bell on the show.” Nobody wants this (2024). She’s so natural. Everything she wears on a date, I have at home.” In this hit romantic comedy on Netflix, Joanna’s character is based on a simple style of clothing and rises to the occasion as the anti-Emile in Paris. “Like Alexa Chung, Joanne can go from demure and feminine to rock ‘n’ roll and sexy, sometimes in the same day,” says Marie In Claire’s article about her, “This example is good because we are taught from childhood to please, to seduce before being seduced,” adds Laurena.

Therefore, going out without thinking about what you wear can be good. “I met a man who I liked very much. That day I chose a very feminine look. The next day I ran into him on a street corner wearing baggy jeans and a bomber jacket. I immediately noticed that his look had changed… He liked it a lot more.” No more ties and pumps for a candlelit dinner. Not if these accessories suit us and if we feel good in them. Not if the place we’re going to requires a dress code. “The way you feel about your outfit before you go on a date will inevitably affect how you go on the date,” concludes Laurena, which is why it’s important to always trust your instincts.