“You become the couple who can’t make it and you don’t get invited anymore.” when endometriosis leads to a grueling PMA journey

Cécile Togny and Benjamin Pourchet meet one beautiful day, or rather, one beautiful night. One is a popular DJ, the other is a journalist. Very quickly, heartbreak turns into love itself. What happens next is logical, but not automatic. they marry but do not start a family. So, like many French people, Cécile and Benjamin start a PMA course. Hopes, failures and disappointments will follow. The reason was endometriosis, an insidious disease unknown to the doctors of the time. This disease, which affects every ten women, causes infertility in 40% of cases. After 9 years, a little girl, Thelma, will be born thanks to egg donation. 9 years, and nature says it takes 9 months, – emphasizes the 46-year-old mother. He, who today chairs the Info-Endometriosis Association together with his communication agency, together with his companion tells about their fight in front of the camera of Florrie Martin. 9 years and 9 monthsavailable on LCP parliamentary channel replay.

Wrath of the Medical Tramp

Cecile’s journey is similar to that of other women of her generation, where we talked a little about period pain, but not enough to diagnose with ultrasounds and MRIs. Even when the doctor says the word “endometriosis” one day, the DJ and her partner in their thirties make sure it won’t be an obstacle to their assisted reproduction process. However, embryo transfer continues and fails each time. “I felt deep down that something was wrong,” recalls Cécile Togny-Pourchet, who was contacted by phone today. Questions and doubts will end years later with Chrisula Zakharopoulou, a gynecological surgeon specializing in endometriosis at Begin Army Teaching Hospital. his disease created significant lesions that required surgery. Therefore, the “ground” was not healthy to accommodate the embryo.

Shock turns to anger, and this is also what the documentary tells. The fury of medical ramblings that other patients still feel because endometriosis takes an average of 7 years to diagnose. 7 years is a long time, especially when you have a baby project. “When I finally heard this news, I was 38 years old. Whether you have endometriosis or not, the older you get, the less likely you are to get pregnant. I was so angry, I lost time,” he sums up. Joël Bélaîche-Allart, obstetrician-gynecologist and president of the French National College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians (CNGOF), confirms: means that either they do not fertilize, or they give a chromosomally abnormal embryo, or it causes a miscarriage. And finally, “The main factor in infertility is age.”

Love in the face of infertility

Beyond the medical aspect, this film takes the pulse of a couple facing the most overwhelming trials of their lives; Their social life was also disrupted. “You become a taboo. You are the couple who can’t do it, they don’t invite you to the children’s birthday parties anymore. Over time, a gap develops between you and your friends,” they say in the documentary. “When you’ve been trying for so long and you see in your father’s eyes that he doesn’t believe in it anymore, that’s violence,” Cecil admits over the phone.

As the years pass, the couple seem more united than ever, and their partnership seems almost intact, despite failed IVF attempts. Then we wonder how they have lasted 9 years. “This is love,” smiles Cecil. Benjamin told me one day that “we shouldn’t break up because of this, even if we don’t make it,” and we made sure to keep this promise throughout our trip. It hasn’t been easy, but communication has been our salvation over the years, telling each other everything when things are going well and especially when things aren’t going well.”

Spread the right information

The final segment of the documentary sheds light on another taboo: donating eggs. As Cecil and Benjamin prepare to complete their PMA journey, the doctors offer them this option. “When I talked about it with those around me, I found out that I was far from the only one concerned, but no one had said anything before,” marvels the forty-year-old woman.

There is also the interesting and very fair question of filiation. The pair notably discovered an entire field of research in epigenetics, a field of scientific research that shows that environmental factors influence genetic expression. “I realized that even if I didn’t share the same genes as my baby, he would still be able to absorb them while growing in my belly,” Cecile explains to us.

Thanks to this gift, this “heavenly gift”, as she calls it, Cecile became a mother at the age of 43. Her anger now gone, she is focusing on her family life but also on her fight to raise French awareness of endometriosis by working with the government on the launch of a national strategy. “If we’re talking today, it’s partly so that my story doesn’t repeat itself, I don’t want it to repeat itself with the new generation,” he assures. And if that happens, I’d like him to be aware of the solutions available to him.” And to conclude. “I also hope that one day my daughter can hear this testimony and be proud of it.”