No, narcissism is not necessarily a bad flaw. Good practices and concrete tips for developing healthy self-esteem and growing fully while respecting others.
One drawback. Two faces. For some, narcissistic fragility rhymes with self-immolation and the inability to express oneself and act. In others, it becomes an egoistic deviation, which, on the contrary, leads to crushing the neighbor. In his book Cultivate your narcissism. self-esteem virtues for respecting yourself and others (Ed. Eyrolles), Dr. Thierry Delcourt describes the excesses of narcissism in the hemisphere. The psychiatrist, child psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst call for the demonization of this fundamental element of the psyche and extol its benefits when it is balanced.
Forming balanced narcissism
If the identity is properly formed from childhood thanks to a rewarding education, then a strong narcissistic foundation acts as a bulwark that softens the shocks of life, promotes the ability to restore oneself and raise one’s head. This rewarding education is, moreover, the key to autonomy and independence, which makes us less easily influenced and reduces the risk of emotional impact, which reduces the risk of abuse and violence.
“Narcissistic fulfillment also unleashes creative potential,” adds Dr. Delcourt. In the field of research, for example, it increases the skills of the researcher.” Therefore, developing a balanced narcissism should be a priority at the individual level, but also at the societal level. An individual or even selfish emphasis on oneself poses a real threat to group cohesion (hierarchical relationships, dominance or even defeat over others, etc.).
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Conversely, when it is healthy, it is part of social progress. The psychiatrist is fascinated by the current “funny emancipatory evolution”. valuing oneself is no longer relevant, provided one remains humble and respects one’s interlocutor. “Our society opens up to a certain equality, originality, audacity, creativity. What does it matter if we are a little boastful or ambitious?
Good news. taking care of yourself isn’t rocket science, especially if the early years of life were gentle. As for people who have been abused since childhood, or those who are dealing with traumatic situations, abuse and mistreatment, they have everything to gain from starting psychotherapy. Done well, it will restore confidence based not on illusion but on real inner qualities. “Therapy gradually reveals our true personality and what sensitivities and desires it contains,” notes the psychiatrist. The sooner we act, the more likely we are to unlock our hidden potential. »
Five strategies to increase your narcissism
For some behind-the-scenes profiles, it takes a lot of effort to establish themselves. Instructions for creating profitable momentum.
1. I increase the opportunities to express myself
Talking to a stranger on the street, walking into an empty art gallery, introducing yourself and/or speaking in a meeting, or even calling the person blocking the line to order…all these possibilities help combat automatic withdrawals. Start with caring contexts where you are safe, then gradually increase the levels of challenge and difficulty.
2. I assume in passion mode
Build your home, engage in what you love, change careers or create your own job… Entrepreneurship is synonymous with boldness. This dynamic implies a decision in line with our desire. It allows you to gain self-confidence and pleasure. A piece of advice. find your ‘nugget’ – the hobby you’re naturally gifted at. First step. to awaken the often-buried desire, to restore its luster, its value. Then you have to overcome the obstacle to go from dream to reality. Therapeutic support can be helpful, even essential, depending on the profile.
3. I discover myself in community life
Organize, manage, lead… Association allows self-assertion and the development of independence and autonomy, which are essential for the recovery and strengthening of the narcissistic base. Likewise, citizen involvement is also excellent for giving oneself the right to speak, for example at neighborhood committee meetings. Take your time to choose the right occupation based on your interests, the connections you have with existing players, and the vibe you feel at first glance.
4. I am building a romantic or friendship relationship
Meeting, making friends, flirting… For timid profiles, crossing the wall that separates them from one another is a challenge. Relationship life, however, is the salt of life. A therapist or seduction coach can help develop suggested actions to approach… And, above all, prevent yourself from fleeing or self-sabotaging in the face of a feared but desired encounter.
5. I develop my creative social potential
Therefore, creating means thinking, playing, drumming, owning your life and not obeying it, charting your own path and acting on the destiny that others have charted for you. Dr. The more developed, the better the ability to survive in relation to others and the environment. Choir, sports, crafts, theater… Choose a creative activity in a caring group. The latter helps to overcome inhibition. The view of others confirms the narcissistic assertion and the qualities of each person.
Source: Le Figaro
