To improve your relationship with your teen in minutes, ask them this question

What if it was possible to close the gap between us and our teenager in 15 seconds? In any case, this is what Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University and the author of the world bestseller, promises. OK Inside in its French version). In a video posted on Instagram on March 10, the favorite parenting expert of American mothers mentions there A question that you should ask your child to “immediately” improve the quality of the connection.

His strategy is known as “Dr. “Becky” on the networks begins with a question addressed to his teenager. “Choose a quiet moment and ask him the following question: “What’s one thing I can improve on as a parent?” she advises her 2.4 million subscribers. “That’s it.”

“Don’t respond to provocations.”

To explain how this simple question improves the parent-child relationship, the psychologist shifts the scene to the professional world. “Imagine your boss comes into your office and says: “What can I improve as a manager?” he says. Immediately, before you even think about an answer, you feel seen, respected, important, and your voice matters.” This is how a teenager will feel when asked the same question, he promises.

In her video, Becky Kennedy already anticipates the reaction of parents frustrated by the lack of real communication or their teenager’s sarcasm. “Any reaction of your child is information,” says the specialist. Activate your curiosity and don’t react directly to provocations.” For example, if the teenager’s answer is: “You can give me 500 euros every day,” the psychologist advises to ask again with open questions. can’t you afford it?” The goal here, of course, is not to negotiate more money in your pocket, but rather to gather information without judgment. This approach allows us to “get to know a new side of our child,” she concludes.