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“It’s not time.” What does this excuse we give for leaving or not engaging the other person really mean?

An avoidance strategy? Real contextual reason. Simple cowardice? Kamila Baimukasheva/Getty Images

DESCRIPTION – An avoidance strategy? Real contextual reason. Simple cowardice? Two clinical psychologists analyze for us what is hidden behind this sentence.

In a couple, when a new milestone is reached on the scale of commitment to the other (introduction of loved ones, vacation plans, relocation, union, etc.), it happens that some people pull back, showing the following observation as the only reason: It’s not the time.” “This phrase, which is often used to not give up or even break up, can be perceived by others as a form of cowardice and lack of courage,” immediately comments Gwenael Persiaun, clinical psychologist and author of the book. Healing your attachment wounds (1). Another may have the impression that they are being forced to pass the pill with a sugar mixture.

If it is not explained, this wording lacks clarity and makes it more difficult for the other person to break the relationship. And if some are not fooled and understand that the couple has no future, others may find themselves in a passive attitude, waiting for him; OK the schedule. Hence the importance of understanding and deciphering the message that…

Source: Le Figaro

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