CERTIFICATES – Lack of space, unsuitable place, tight budget, desire to enjoy the event held between adults… The reasons are multiplying today to prohibit the presence of children at weddings.
Between Leon’s “bib” and “frozen wolf” parties around Margot’s tables, Noah and Clara are ready when the time comes to swallow the cake puffs, Diana’s jeremiads… Parents’ life in marriage. , not always a cakewalk. And the bride and groom know it very well. That’s why some people take the initiative and just decide to reserve this special day for adults. And to forget the children, even for one evening.
The phenomenon is becoming more and more frequent: there are more and more marriages that prohibit the presence of children. No offense to the older generations, they love the big family parades more. And there are many reasons.
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Party, crazier without the kids?
In a few weeks, 41-year-old Anne Lor will marry her long-time companion. After careful consideration, the couple decided to opt for a childless marriage. Mainly for financial reasons. “It was last September. My fiance and I looked at the guest list and went with 80 adults. After doing the calculations, we realized that the number of children is about 40. Only our budget was limited, he remembers. Between the costs of nannies, accommodation, food… The calculation was quick.” And leads to an adult-only marriage. Only the couple’s little boy, seven years old, will be present.
Other factors entered the equation. “We had found what we felt was an ideal location. It is definitely confirmed, but not necessarily customized. for example, there is no dormitory for the youngest. And then, it must be said that we did not want our guests to be busy with their children. We prefer that they come with a free spirit and ready to party. It was this last point that motivated Paul*, 50, when he married his partner six years ago. “The idea of this wedding was to have a party with all the people we loved,” she says. Given the format we chose, catered, standing tables and then a ballroom for 80 people, it was very clear in our minds that there would be no children. We counted about 20, and it would completely change the configuration of our marriage.
The same story from 38-year-old Mari. She married Vincent in June 2018. At the latter’s request, a few months ago, the young woman knew that the guests should come without children. Because he understood it during previous marriages. the party is crazier when the little ones aren’t at play. However, she and her husband-to-be just want to have fun and not see the dinner being interrupted by a group of over-excited Brits coming and going. “We wanted our guests to be able to enjoy the evening without children around, and also get rid of their mental burden. So that they don’t ask themselves. “Did he eat well?” Is he asleep? Oh, it’s too late, we have to put him to sleep…” The mental burden shared by Mari, because the estate, which he gathered 400 loved ones, is located near the road. And kids are sometimes too adventurous.
action, reactions
But with the bride and groom around, the pill always goes down well. According to the testimonies, the news is much more relieving than annoying. “It almost even made them happy,” laughs Mari, who notes that she has only received positive feedback. “It’s a great excuse to enjoy an evening without the kids and come home at any hour.” For her part, Ann Lorre was initially afraid of her friends’ reaction. However, no one objected. “On the contrary, they were happy. We get to an age where we don’t party much, and when that happens, we really want to be. And then, in the general context (Ukraine war, Covid crisis, inflation…), we need to have fun more than ever,” says the forty-year-old. For Paul, this decision to marry without children was also very well received by his friends and family. “It’s true, we didn’t really know how to tell my sister, the only member of our family who had a little girl. We were afraid that he would take it badly, but not at all,” he recalls.
Internet users in online forums admit it. For once they enjoyed the moment 100%. The guest says: “This weekend, my husband and I were invited to the wedding of some friends who decided not to have children at their wedding. So of course some people didn’t like it, but I can say that we really appreciated it with my beloved. For one thing, we were able to spend an evening together without having to look around the room for the little one. Two, there were no children running and screaming. And three, we don’t have to kid ourselves, we can thoroughly enjoy the evening. Some parents, however, cannot imagine participating in such celebrations without their offspring. Karolinka is one of them. “Personally, if they invited me to a wedding without children, I would understand the choice of the bride and groom, but we would not go. For what ? “Simply because we don’t have grandparents nearby who can be forced to thank,” he comments. Another adds: “Experiencing it myself, yes, it shocked me… A wedding is a family celebration.” The same verdict from Karine. “Honestly, I am shocked. I didn’t even know that this question could actually come up. I respect everyone’s choice, of course, but if I’m invited without my kids, it’s like they weren’t invited. They are part of us and we share everything together.” Proof that the concept of “marriage without children” is falling apart even in 2023.
One condition is to predict well
However, all the interviewed newlyweds agree on one thing. you need to ensure that you give advance warning that the event will not be ‘kid friendly’ (ie ‘closed to children’). Marie warned her guests more than six months in advance through a private Facebook event so everyone could organize themselves. “But anyway, we still planned for a babysitter, a young cousin of the family.” A good prognosis is important, especially since child care sometimes represents an expense borne by parents. That is why Paul and his companion preferred the wedding in Paris. “We avoided doing it deep in Normandy to make it less difficult for our friends.” Anne-Laure also tried to simplify the logistics. “I arranged for the wedding to take place on a Saturday, not too early in the afternoon, to allow my friends to leave their children with their grandparents. Especially since everything takes place in Nantes, so some have to travel.” The moral of the story. it’s all about communication.
*The name has been changed.
Source: Le Figaro
