DESCRIPTION: – Psychiatrist David Gurion and psychologist Eudes Semeria analyze the workings of this central mechanism in anxiety disorders, and whose origins are often traced back to childhood.
“3 missed calls” the phone displays. “Someone has died,” the brain instantly thinks. Here’s a disaster scenario that runs through some people’s minds called “anticipatory anxiety.” This is a central mechanism in anxiety disorders, common in people with anxiety, of course, and low self-esteem. By listening (a lot) to their own thoughts, they convince themselves that what they imagine is most likely to happen, even though the reality is completely different.
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To reassure themselves and feel safe at all costs, they develop an entire strategy to avoid facing their fears. The risk. “Constantly worrying and missing out on your life,” says clinical psychologist and author Eudes Semeria. The four fears that prevent you from living (1).
To break out of this vicious cycle, it is necessary to understand its origin. First let’s talk about genetics. There really is an anxiety gene. “The anxiety gene has persisted throughout evolution because it has facilitated the survival of the human species,” comments psychiatrist and author David Gurion. Anti-stress (2). The emergence of pessimistic scenarios and associated feelings of fear was a key factor.” And who says that the gene is passed on? A person whose parents are anxious themselves will therefore, unsurprisingly, be more likely to be anxious as well.
remnants of childhood
The environment in which we grow up as children also has its share of responsibility. If both parents always imagine the worst about themselves or the child’s future, the latter will have a greater chance of repeating the behavior in adulthood.
Without forgetting that when exposed to anxiety, “parents tend to overprotect the child, forbidding him to take any risks,” adds psychologist Eudes Semeria. Which does not help in his life to become an actor and dare anything, in childhood and adulthood. “A child by nature is not in control, he is afraid of what might happen, and this is normal, because he has a reduced space and no visibility into the future, but in adulthood the behavior will reflect the difficulties to come. is responsible for himself,” explains the psychologist.
If our physical or psychological integrity or the integrity of a loved one is threatened, our relationship with death and the world changes.
David Gurion, psychiatrist and anti-stress author
It is during the first twenty years of life that anticipatory anxiety is nurtured, reports Eudes Séméria, and especially in the relationship one maintains with a parent. “Parental figures should allow the child to stay away from them, while offering him a security framework, but as the child grows up, he should get rid of that security,” explains the psychologist. An adult who still sees himself as his parents’ child, therefore simply as a child, will continue to operate through the prism of his fear.
Traumatic experiences in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood can also underlie this anxiety. “If our physical or psychological integrity or the integrity of a loved one is threatened, our relationship with death and the world changes. The brain can conclude that this world is dangerous and begins to overestimate the risks,” explains psychiatrist David Gurion.
take a step back
In terms of specific steps to take to break out of an anxiety-provoking pattern, the doctor suggests asking yourself: Then it is necessary to reassess the probability of its occurrence, Actuallyhe insists.
To take a step back, we can categorize the events we fear into two different columns: what is serious (illness, death) and what is not (everything else). Most importantly, force yourself to imagine positive scenarios, even if you don’t believe in them yet.
Ultimately, the key to letting go of anticipatory anxiety lies in the ability to enjoy the present moment. The expression is somewhat exaggerated, but the act is essential. This implies maintaining a global vision of your life. remember your past, of course, but don’t let yourself be weighed down and biased by our negative experiences as you envision your future. And try to really live in the moment. “That is the definition of responsibility,” concludes Eudes Séméria.
(1) The four fears that prevent you from living by Eudes Séméria, Éditions Albin Michel, 320 p., €19.90.
(2) A simple method to treat anti-stress, anxiety and depressionby David Gourion, Éditions Marabout, 224 p., €18.90.
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Source: Le Figaro
