If a friendly trio can be strong and happy, this relative configuration is not without risks. Two professionals take whatever can distort it.
Three Invicted Childhood Friends, Dream Hotel in Thailand, Cocktails XXL Pool. In the last very commented season White LotosFrom mid-February to most, everything starts like Instagram postcard. But since the series develops, varnish flakes. What was like the cracks of protective bubble and revealed unspoken, jealous, frustration. Low masses, the exchange, the third, the third, the competition, the three groups are unbalanced before the explosion or almost. Wonderful performance of what many live without a camera. The mistakes of a friendly triangle. And for a good reason. If this format can be comforting and enriching neat, it can also easily play a field than the duet, more classic.
Complicated Architecture
First, the configuration is specific. “Two or three three goes to what the system is called”, analyzes a psychiatrist Sea Colombel. This concept means the moment when interactions become more complex, more unpredictable. “Three, there is always asymmetry of information,” he said. Two people can be aware of something, the other is not. And that’s what causes disappointment. Hotspent
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For Kelly, a psychotherapist specializing in Lyrranaga, friendly therapies, this variable geometry relationships can also awaken old injuries. “It simply came to our notice then. This fear is not to be loved, he reports. And it’s this uncertainty that can be painful. The company, collective imagination, is often based on a unique, fusional, exceptional bond, definitely appointed. “It’s my best friend.” Up to three, this uniqueness is blister, even threatens.
Signs of imbalance
This imbalance is more fragile when the situations of each member of the trio develop. Thus, a friendly meeting of student work or sky turnover can be shaken when one marries, moves or becomes a parent. “Some friendships do not resist the bifurations of this life, especially since they remain frozen with the initial paramet,” said a psychiatrist. It is clear that if the trio does not develop with its members, it tightens, freezes and can finally break. And psychotherapist Kelly Larryga will set an example in advice.
If the signs of suffering are sometimes restrained, they are so far.
Sometimes it happens that the dynamics become frankly poisonous. “When the jealousy or competition is invited, we are going out of healthy relations,” says Kelly Larryga. Then we enter something calculated where we operate to take the seat to another, climb to the center. Hotspent
Key Friendship
However, friendship with three is not a burden, claims psychotherapist. “It can be very promising, because it brings wealth, different views, form of emotional diversity,” he said. If you put the right ingredients. Flexibility, listening, not acceptance. Psychiatric Marine Columbel recognized friendship with three, which is known as “adaptive”, those who have been transformed over the years, husbands, children, new friends without loss of original reference.
Whatever makes these companies is to greet instability without assimilation of threat. “There will always be times when two of them will be closer,” warns the psychiatrist. But if it doesn’t cause suffering, friendship is viable. ” The important thing remains that everyone feels “safe”, psychotherapist Kelly Lingeria. What will it be interested? “
How to keep the trio?
As with all friendly configurations, requires special care for three. According to the respondents, it begins with various issues with invasion. “Is this dynamic suit for me?” Or again, “Is this situation differentiates me?” I am sad, I feel very much. ” “You must question your tolerance threshold for the imperfection of the link,” said psychiatrist.
Then you need to communicate without waiting for concern to regulate. We call discrepancies, we share feelings without accusing. “It’s not a matter of criticizing it, but to open talk areas, where everyone can deposit what they live,” Kelly Larryga advises. Hearing is very important then. If you receive or mock when you try to open the dialog, it may time to reassess the link.
What if you feel behind all the time? You have to dare to put words, even clear, as “I have the impression not to find my place, I sometimes feel a little deleted.” It requires courage, but also a form of faith in his friendship. And if we are “leaders” next to the “leaders”, be careful not to include the group’s “follower”, who always says yes to advise and full. Because friendly friendship can be a real springboard. “He can even help the man who is more inferior to other areas of his life for personal as a specialist,” says Kelly Larryga. Because the friendly trio is developed and outside, the weather and weeds are important.
Source: Le Figaro
