These French women who do not want to have children. “We feel free without”

“I chose to give up crying, diapers, school again and Saturdays without my friends,” says Elise, almost laughingly , therefore and forever. “It might be selfish, but it’s my choice. When I see all these mothers around me, I tell myself that life is short enough to spare me this life.”

And according to the latest figures from InSEE (National Institute of Statistics and Economic Studies), many French women, like her, have chosen this path. It is too bad with less pensions or less work. With only 663,000 births listed last year, more than 22 % less than in 2023, citizens turn a deaf ear.

For Élise, these results are not surprising. “I think it will continue to go down,” she tells us. He also cites “children’s non-debit” as a political and militant choice for some.

“I was able to want children myself, when I was 15-20 years old. But the evolution of society definitely convinced me that I did not want it in this world. The future seems chaotic. The rents are getting higher and higher, the working conditions are getting worse and the planet is burning. All this strengthened my certainties.” A height, she smiles, for a woman working in the service of BEMum, which is a start-up in the markets “Farnitium” a coaching program for those who want to get pregnant.

An uncertain future

These political and environmental concerns are also shared by Juliot aspirations and a very active daily life also slowed down the desire to have children.

For Catherine Scornet, professor of Sociology at the University of Aix-Marseille and researcher at LPED (Laboratory Population Environment Development), these various factors play a very important role in “non-birth projects”. : However, the world is in a general climate of uncertainty, which is changing our relationship with the future. If many French are still preparing children, it clearly pushes the age of the prosecutor he says.

As an example, he cites the economic pressure and the anxiety of the climate, the difficulty of having stable jobs and housing in Ukraine, but also the successful growth in 2020 on the youth and up to thirty. Deprived of social ties and cut off from their relationships, they were forced to reconsider their concerns. adds Catherine Skornet.

To design parents, you must inhabit hope.However, the world is in a general climate of uncertainty

Katherine Skusnett, sociologist

Perhaps, this had an effect on Juliet, who admits that he has matured into a much less altruistic decision. His parents’ divorce, at the age of 4, is the ground for his reflection. It was at the age of 19 that he reached his deepest to an uninteresting life.

“I had cervical cancer and the question arose whether I wanted to freeze my eggs. Strangely, and quite pragmatically, I knew that becoming a mother was not something for me.” “Of course I am, because I only want to ask myself questions,” says the latter. “I just feel freer, not having children.”

A deep desire for freedom

So here comes the second factor, perhaps the most important: “If children have instructions, women have been particularly self-employed in recent years,” says sociologist Catherine Schusnett perform in him. The concept of choice: This gives rise to the first shackles of its liberation and its “legitimacy”.

“This is also a part of a more general promotion of the individual, a term to lead in the right direction, that is, in the promotion of the individual and not in the promotion of the collective. This is more accepted than before. And it has become possible without it having children, while having the impression of having a successful life.” A completely “fundamental” factor, he supports, because “not giving life” is no longer perceived as a desperate choice by a woman.

It has become possible to become a reality without having children while having the impression of having a successful life

Katherine Skusnett, sociologist

“I like to do what I want, when I want,” adds Alexandra, 37. “I like my freedom, I can have time for myself, give priority to myself.” the mother-in-law of a little girl, this dietitian and nutritionist refuses to live a life of deprivation that some women around her. “Having a child requires a lot of self-sacrifice,” she continues I see friends who have put their careers on hold, preventing them from going to work because their daughter is sick.”

He does not throw the stone at anyone and condemns the “fatal” way. “Obviously, there are more fathers at the meetings of the parents, but the woman still confirms the whole mental burden,” he said, admitting that they keep his companion. about the needs of the daughter. Indeed, although attitudes have evolved in recent years, inequalities within the couple persist. According to the latest inequality observatory published in 2023 data, 80% of women are still responsible for cleaning and cooking every day compared to only 40% of men.

1 + 1 = 3

Finally, it is also important to note an important turning point in the history of the “couple”. “The relationship with the house has also changed a lot,” says Catherine Skusiet. There is always this altruistic level for those who want children, but today it is important there is significance to the couple as a place of individual achievement and fulfillment, and no longer as an incubator of the individual In a sense, this new approach also leads to more volatility, because we will be more easily removed if those standards are not met.”

Alexandra, our dietitian, sees things in the same way. “My couple is very important. I sometimes feel this feeling, in the overload of childbirth, that I am quite confused about it.” by dozens when he thinks about it. Like this day, when one of his friends refused an invitation to his wedding, which will take place next summer, because it is forbidden for children can do it “otherwise” I wonder, I said to myself. “What. You have two children, 8 and 6 years old, which means that you have not spent one evening with your husband. “It’s sad, in this sense, there are still many lines to move. “We force people who would like to be a mother, who would like to be a sinner,” the dietitian insists, “I have the feeling that femininity and motherhood are still very popular in people’s minds,” adds Juliet.

Despite the assessment of INSEE, it is important to remember that women always prepare children and find a person in the press to find a family. You’ll see, you’ll change your mind. Well, I’m 40 years old, and I don’t want to. My parents are also grieving instead, he goes to Aquagiment.” His only regret would be the destruction of his line. “I know my last name will go out with me. This is a question that I consider very legitimate to ask, and it is also mourning.”