“There is an imperative to postpone.” advice from coach Charlotte Montpessat so that vacation doesn’t feel like a manageable to-do list.

Swimwear, Yuka 100/100 sunscreen. Three phone chargers, a computer and diving masks. Packing before going on vacation can often seem like a never-ending process. to do list whose boxes we check as carefully as if we had to ratify the annual budget. “Most people are afraid of forgetting something when, unless you go to the middle of the Kalahari desert, you’ll find everything there. We have a feeling that going on a trip is crazy complicated, even though it’s never been so easy,” laughs psychoanalyst and coach Charlotte Montpesat.

The same when you reach your destination. days are filled with Monday’s meetings. At 10 o’clock a visit to the castle, at 2 o’clock rowing lessons for adults, at 7 o’clock an aperitif with friends… “We often fear ‘holiday’, in the sense of emptiness, which seems to be in danger of an existential crisis, continues Charlotte Montpesat . Facing yourself and your deepest aspirations can be scary. Then we cling to our canvas, run like hamsters in a wheel. However, changing the pace, changing the place, disconnecting in the strict sense of the term allows you to discover other things, to be surprised. This is essential!”

Plan for boredom

In a world where time stretches without interruption until it becomes fluid, in the words of the philosopher Hartmut Rosa, the introduction of breath is an absolute necessity. Just as a car bug stops it from functioning properly, vacations raise the usual barrier to productivity and efficiency that weighs on our shoulders at work. “On vacation, there’s an imperative to procrastinate,” encourages Charlotte Montpessat. Throughout the year, we focus on KPIs, ROIs, numbers and goals to achieve. We feel guilty for doing nothing, taking a little too much time for coffee, or not signing our kids up for three activities a week. But learning to deal with boredom is essential.”

And not just for the little ones. Coach’s advice. Even before you leave, include downtime in your vacation diary. And make it a point to only turn on your phones at certain times, like early morning and early evening, so you can take your eyes off screens during the day. “I recommend it at least to parents, more than to children, paradoxically.” And if only to serve as an example… To get out of automatisms, to rediscover the taste for a long time, spontaneity, shared moments and reflections. Natural light…

Delegate

Allowing your mind to wander, however, involves letting it go. Especially for women and especially mothers who take on most of the tasks before, during and after returning from vacation. How to relax when the mental load does not really decrease? Or do we have a burden of souls? “Delegating”. Let’s try to keep the kids from packing, let them sort themselves out. And it’s too bad if the luggage is filled with junk and a pair of fingerprints are missing. Upon arrival, we can also inform you that we will only be responsible for preparing dinner. For the rest, everyone helps themselves from the fridge or goes out for lunch, and we help the children if necessary.”

Leave room for the uninitiated

A way out of constant action and responsibility. Open and sanctify expectation-free spaces unencumbered by the needs and demands of others. “We leave the conscious to let the unconscious work in peace,” sums up Charlotte Montpezat. Things have to be done independently in these intercity spaces that have become so rare, but are cradles of creativity and new ideas.”

In these moments of uncertainty, the unexpected can arise, including from one’s own brain. Usually busy, he needs rest to blossom, to gain height, to formulate desires, deep aspirations, disappointments too. Everything that is formulated and digested then allows you to reorient your life, imagine new solutions and decide for yourself. “We have to risk the void,” Charlotte Montpezat repeats. For a better start later.