“I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 29.” Alice Gendron tells us about the emotional “tsunami”.

From childhood to the age of thirty, Alice Gendron asks herself, sometimes even torments herself. what’s wrong with him? Why does he cut the others? Does she never manage to pay her bills on time or go shopping without forgetting something? At the age of 29, he was diagnosed with a neurodevelopmental disorder called ADHD, an attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity, which affects approximately 2.5% of the adult population (1). To prevent others from going through the same years of lonely doubt, Alice Gendron created La Mini Coach ADHD in 2020, an Instagram account (followed by over 89,000 people) where she posts pictures depicting her daily life in the company of the disorder. . As the government unveiled its national strategy for better support and diagnosis of neurodevelopmental disorders, including ADHD, on November 14, the 30-year-old posted: A Little Illustrated Guide to ADHD (2). Educational and concrete work that will allow many diagnosed people to better understand themselves and live a more relaxed everyday life. And force undetected profiles to go to testing.

Madame Figaro: How did your ADHD manifest itself in childhood and adolescence?
Alice Gendron: Impulsivity, inattention and tendency to forget. For example, I could borrow toys from friends without asking them, and handle them without realizing it. I talked a lot in class, I was lively. I was bored, exhausted from trying to concentrate and subjecting myself to the rhythm of the “norm”, that is, too long classes for me, which were connected from morning to evening. In high school, I realized that I needed to stop standing out and wait until the school term was over. Then I spent my days painting.

How did you experience the post-school years before your diagnosis?
I managed to develop tricks to slip through the cracks. It was either adapting, or lying, or at least not telling the truth. When someone asked me if I heard him, I couldn’t say no properly. In the twenties and thirties, the responsibilities of “adulting” piled up, and living them undiagnosed became very difficult, even exhausting. In my job, I struggled to be productive and meet deadlines. I’ve always tried to get there, but through violence, working late nights, and feeling guilty. At the age of 20, I already knew the taxman because I forgot to pay. Shopping for groceries, cooking…everything required a huge amount of effort. I had reached a real burnout.

What efforts are you talking about that have exhausted you?
They especially affect relationships with others. For us, friendship can be seen as a to-do list task because it takes effort. We have a hard time responding to requests, getting news… I had to let friendships die because it was too hard for me to maintain them. Without forgetting that we cut people off, that we “take” when someone talks to us… All this creates small scars in the relationship, wounds that, taken together, can lead to major breakdowns.

I had to let friendships die because it was too hard for me to maintain them

Alice Gendron suffers from ADHD

Your guide talks about the “ADHD tax”. What is it about?
If we don’t have things in front of us, we almost systematically forget them, so ADHD is expensive. So, for example, 10 years ago I realized that I had not canceled my gym membership. Since I act on impulse but let it go when a new passion is satisfied, it’s not surprising. I’m also prone to compulsive shopping, placing online orders for clothes that I forget to return when they don’t fit. On another note, if my vegetables are stored in the fridge drawer or in a slightly dark place, I forget and spoil… This happens to everyone, but in our house it’s almost systematic and invades the routine.

Have you suffered from prejudice?
Shortly after my diagnosis, I received questioning looks from doctors I went to as part of a health check to see if I was eligible for treatment on several occasions. People asked me. “but are you sure?” reading the reason for my coming. Today I no longer suffer from prejudice because I talk about it a lot, but some preconceived ideas remain. For example, we still too often associate ADHD with hyperactivity, with the idea that it “can be seen.” However, in most cases of adults, if there is physical hyperactivity, it turns into mental hyperactivity or is transmitted through sports. If it were this obvious, we wouldn’t be facing the current problem of underdiagnosis, which mostly affects women.

We still too often associate ADHD with hyperactivity, with this idea that it “can be seen.”

Alice Gendron

You prepare readers for the emotions that follow a diagnosis…
Yes! At first we feel relief, then negative emotions come quickly, and we are not ready for them. In fact, the diagnosis has a tsunami effect. The sea recedes, we breathe, we finally understand why we are the way we are. I remember, for example, leaving the doctor’s office feeling like I was on cloud nine. Then the tide hits and we’re hit with a flood of emotions. A very deep sadness comparable to a form of mourning, then frustration, anger after years of discussing our symptoms with health professionals without getting answers. Why didn’t anyone see anything? Some may also re-read their lives, I’m thinking especially of those diagnosed in their 50s or 60s who wonder: What if my divorce, my professional problems were related to my disorder? What would have been different if I had been diagnosed earlier? This can be very destabilizing. Not to mention, after years of adjusting without a diagnosis, doubt creeps in even after this diagnosis. Aren’t I just lazy? Shouldn’t I just get organized? This whole cocktail can be explosive, so it’s important to talk about it with those around you, or even join a community and surround yourself well.

What advice would you give to someone wondering how it works?
You should start by educating yourself by choosing quality content (the association Hypersupers ADHD France endorsed by the Commonwealth Ministry and a good source of information, editor’s note) and comparing his experience with that of people with ADHD. Finally, and even if it’s scary, you need to see a doctor to get a diagnosis, he’s the only one who can do it. To do this, you can visit your general practitioner, who will then refer you to a specialist in the subject (3), or consult them directly. You have to arm yourself with courage and patience. Finding answers can take time.

Once you accept your uniqueness, you should demand less of yourself, or at least simpler things

Alice Gendron

You devote part of your book to possible strategies to make everyday life easier. This is essential, do you understand?
We have a habit of going against our nature and adapting to others. By doing so, we make things difficult for ourselves. Once we accept its specificity, we need to look for solutions that will suit us better to live with ADHD, require less of us, or at least make things simpler. To work smarter, and not harder, I recommend, for example, the “Pomodoro” technique, which consists of alternating phases of concentration and pause. In practice, you can set the concentration time to 20 minutes and then the interval to 5 minutes. In the short term, commitments can encourage action. This technique works for any task. Music can also help you focus, regulate your mood, motivate you, or help you sleep. You can also use color coding because the ADHD brain works better with visual cues. Because colors are universal, they are an effective form of classification. We sort our clothes, our books, or even our phone apps by color. With the right tools and simple tips, you can get through it and live a more peaceful everyday life.

(1) Source: Hypersupers ADHD France.
(2) Editions Albin Michel.
(3) The Hypersupers ADHD France association offers a list of volunteers by region who can refer you to a specialist.